Why Jesus is the ONLY Way

Mourning a Loss

This has been a difficult week for me. I shared last year a bit about our family's struggles to find a new church home. We have found a new church that didn't exactly match our list of wants, but it feels right. I know it is the place where God wants us right now. One of our concerns through this transition was harming the close friendships that we had at our former church. There are many there that we love like family. Many of them are part of a women's bible study that I have attended for seven years. We have laughed and cried together, and had the blessing of praying over each other's needs.

I decided to continue meeting with this group at our old church because of those friendships that I value so much. However, through a conversation with a friend from that study, my eyes were opened to the fact that there is bitterness and resentment towards me and another member who also left the church but still attends. This really wounds me because I thought those bonds of friendship were strong enough to weather this transition we were making. Now, I see that they are not. So, the question is, now that I know this, what do I do? During my morning bible study a couple of days ago, I was studying about obedience and submission to God. At that very moment, I got a very strong sensation that this is the time to step away from that bible study. As I tried to ignore this thought, I went back to reading about obedience and submission to God. [sigh] I knew the painful choice that I must make.

This morning is the first meeting of this bible study. I feel pretty sad. I am mourning the loss of those close bonds with those ladies. However I do not regret my choice. I know that bowing out gracefully was the best thing to do, for if I stayed, I may become a stumbling block to others faith. If my presence causes negative, ungodly feelings in others, then I should not be there.

These verses come to mind this morning:

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:23, 31-33

As I grow in my understanding of God, I am realizing that this life here on earth is not about me at all. Our human nature is selfish and is naturally focused on our own needs and wants. I think part of the process of sanctification (becoming more holy and Christlike) is understanding that obedience to God is first. That knocks my own desires down the priority list. So, in this particular instance, I have a bible study that fills a need in my life for Christian fellowship with other women, but in obedience God I am giving that up because my needs do not outweigh the fact that I may be a stumbling block to others in their relationship with God.

So, I sit here at home this morning lifting up those who are still there in prayer, looking to God to provide for my needs of fellowship. I have no doubts that He will. He always does provide.

“Each child came to us directly from the presence of God and a parent's daily work is to lead the child back from whence she came --- back into the presence of God. To simply keep inviting the child into the transformative presence of God -- to live before Him ourselves.” Ann Voskamp (A Holy Experience)

I want to be a Wife of Valor

I am continuing my study of being a submissive wife to my husband, obedient to God.  The best description of a godly wife shows up in Proverbs 31:10-31.  It begins by saying that a "wife of noble character is hard to find."  Some translations say "virtuous" or "excellent."  The original Hebrew word used here is chayil. I find it odd that this word has been translated this way here because its definition is actually strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army.  In the King James Version of the bible, it is often translated as army, man of valor, forces, valiant, strength, riches, power, and might.  So, although "excellent", "virtuous" and "noble" do fit here, they seem like only part of the definition.  When we think of a godly, submissive wife, a picture of a mousy doormat comes to mind.  I don't believe a doormat would ever be described as chayil.  According to this, a godly wife is a force.  She is a woman of action that makes things happen. 

Listen to this description:

"The woman described here is of priceless value. She has physical strength, mental strength, moral strength and spiritual strength. Above all she loves God deeply and reverently. She is characterized in this section six ways, and I'll point them out to you as we just look together at the Scripture...six ways. Her character as a wife, her devotion as a homemaker, her generosity as a neighbor, her influence as a teacher, her effectiveness as a mother and her excellence as a person...the sum of all of that makes the excellent wife. And I might add that this is no woman in particular but this is the woman that every woman should seek to emulate. She is rare, look at verse 10, an excellent wife...by the way, the word excellent in Hebrew means force, a woman of force, a woman of substance, a woman of strength would be another way to characterize her. It's excellent in the sense of her strength spiritually, morally, mentally, physically. She is a woman of substances. She is a woman who has made a dent in society. She is one who makes a difference. There's a force about her life. This kind of wife, he says, who can find? Very rare. Hard to find this kind of woman."

- John MacArthur :: Grace to You

What a wonderful picture to keep in the forefront of our minds as we strive to become the women/wives that God created us to be!  I am excited to study this further.  If you want to study with me, I am in Week #4 of "A Wife's Biblical Submission" (see right sidebar banner).  More specifically, I am here.

Submission vs. Obedience

Wives are called to submit to their own husbands.  This is commanded in Scripture.  (Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 5:24, Colossians 3:18) I think it is hard for a modern day woman to know what that really means.  We have been raised in an age of feminism and the idea of submission is foreign.  We relate it to obedience.  Yes, it does look like obedience, but there is more to it.  There is the component of attitude.

God does not call us to robotically obey our husbands.  We are partners and helpers to them.  They can bounce ideas off of us and we discuss things.  The wife's opinion is just as important.  But ultimately, someone has to be in charge and make a decision.  God has set it up that way.  Jesus is the head over a man, and the man is head over his wife.  This provides a sense of order.  We, as wives, are called to defer to our husbands and submit to his God-given authority.  Not only are we to obey, but we need to do it with a good attitude.  Our husbands need to feel like we are on their team and not have to fight us at every turn.

So, today I will do an attitude check.  Am I cheerfully submitting to my husband?  When I do, I am ultimately submitting to my Lord.

What to study along with me?  Click the button on the right that say's, "A Wife's Biblical Submission."  I am working on week three.  God bless! 

"The people who know their God, stand firm and take action."  Daniel 11:32

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

18 Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband

(From "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace)

1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?"
2. Ask your husband, "How can I help you accomplish those goals?"
3. Ask your husband, "Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?"
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy everyday for him.
6. Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, job, ladies' Bible studies, etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals. Some examples are to offer to run errands for him, organize your day to be available to him with his projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
11. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals. Examples are get up early in the morning to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording telephone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful record of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
14. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to you husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
18. Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, you husband is glorified when you obey your husband.
    

Modern Day Rib

I am continuing my study of what God says about being a wife to my husband. I have finished the book, "Creative Counterpart" and have begun to read "An Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Both books discuss what it means to be a biblically submissive wife, but are very different styles.

This morning, I took a break from the book and decided to read the the website I mentioned before, "A Wife's Biblical Submission." The link for this online study can be found in the sidebar to the right. I am reading from Week 2 of the study which discusses how the woman was taken from the man's rib. If you think about the purpose of a physical rib, it is protection. A rib is a delicate thing, but yet strong. It protects both the heart and the lungs.

It is interesting that God chose this rib to create woman. In general we tend to think about men as the protectors of women, but a wife plays an important role in protecting her husband. She protects his heart, by always loving and supporting him. Even if a man faces negativity all day long, he can deal with it if he comes home to a loving wife that supports him and respects him no matter what. If the reverse is true, no matter how much respect and kudos the world gives a man, he will be beaten down and weakened if he gets no respect at home from his wife. A rib also protects the lungs. The lungs take in air from the atmosphere. We, as wives, need to protect that atmosphere. How do we do that? Most importantly, we need to blanket his atmosphere with prayer. Next, we can make his home a place of peace and restoration. We can also choose to bless him with our words. We need to do this intentionally.

This role as protector is a totally new concept to me. I will have to remind myself of this role until it becomes habit, as well as pray for God to reveal where my husband has needs in this area and how I can respond.

Do you want to join me in studying about our roles as godly wives? I would enjoy discussing this with you. You can follow the link to the left or pick up one of the books that I mentioned. Leave me a comment and link to your blog. I would enjoy seeing how God is leading you.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:4


"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

On Being a Creative Counterpart to my Husband

No matter what you call it, help meet, creative counterpart, submissive wife, it is clear from scripture that is what God has called us, as wives, to be. The struggle in this day and age of feminism is to know what that looks like. Good examples are few.

In general, most women find the idea of putting their husband's needs above their own and serving him rather repugnant. We have been taught from an early age that submitting to any man is an archaic idea from the unenlightened past.

However, scripture clearly says that the woman was created for the man.

"For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

Man and woman were not created simultaneously. No, woman was created after man to be a helper to him.

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'” Genesis 2:18

I know that many women may find the idea of this rather offensive. I might, too, if it were not for the fact that I trust in god and believe in ther Truth of His Word.

So, if I believe that I was created by God to be a helper to my husband, what exactly does that mean? I know for a fact that my husband would be extremely irritated if I called him to consult on every little household decision or child behavioral issue. He would also hate to be married to a doormat. He has told me that it is a comfort to him that I am a strong, capable, independent woman.

So, I am searching the scriptures, being still, and listening to God to understand what being an ideal wife to my husband and fulfilling at least part of God's purpose for me looks like.

Striving to be a Submissive Wife

In my last post I mentioned that in my morning quiet time I was studying obedience. God has impressed upon me that serving God means obedience to God in all instances. I believe it is no coincidence that I got my hands on the book Created to be his Help Meet which discusses the concept of what it means to be a godly wife during this time. I had to read through the book relatively quickly to get through it all before it was due back at the library and felt as though I wasn't finished with this study. Well, I always say that our God is a God who provides. Yesterday I stumbled upon an online bible study called A Wife's Biblical Submission. This is an in depth study of Proverbs 31: 10-31. I have decided to participate in this and will be posting what God is teaching me through this study here on this blog.

For those of you who do not know me in real life and have just found this blog, here is a little bit about me:
My name is Trish. 22 years ago I married my high school sweetheart, Barry. We had our first date the day after my 15th birthday and there has never been another guy for me. We got married when I was 19 and he was 21. We have 6 children: four daughters ages 16, 13, 6, & 3 and two sons ages 8 & 17 months. We are a homeschooling family living on four acres in rural Indiana.

Our family leans to the creative side. I have a need to create. Some of my outlets for this are photography, digital scrapbooking, cooking, and sewing. My children, thus far, have followed suit. This is very evident in my oldest two daughters who are becoming amazing artists.

We also have a family business owning/managing two apartment buildings. This role is a constant challenge for me. It is definitely not my nature to be to be a landlord or a bookkeeper, but I am learning and growing and working on my attitude because I have come to realize that this is an area where I am truly a help meet to my husband.

I am hoping that through this study, I can learn more about my God-given role as a helper to my husband.

Obedience

This summer, I have been led to study "obedience" during my morning bible study and quiet time. God has shown me areas of my life where I am and have been disobedient to Him. This is a hard thing to look at. [sigh] But it is important that I see this. So, I have been seeking what God say in His Word about being obedient. There is plenty!

God has been showing me that it ALL is about obedience to Him. I have heard it said that as a Christian, our goal is to get to heaven and take as many as we can with us. That's not a bad goal, but I think it is somewhat incorrect. I think our goal should be complete obedience to God and His will. I do think that leading others to know Christ is a result of that obedience, but by having obedience to God being our first goal, it takes the pressure off of us to figure out how to make this happen. We just need to follow orders.

The first step in obedience to God is learning to listen. We cannot follow God's commands, if we do not clearly know what they are. So, how do we hear God? We can pray AND listen. We can read God's living Word. This is a powerful combination.

The second step is, of course, doing what God has said to us. I believe it is only through the power of God that we have the ability to obey. It is hard! Daily, we need to re-commit ourselves to God, offering our lives as living sacrifices.

I am not sure what I expected to discover exactly through the process of my study, but I have been a bit surprised by the areas of my life that God has brought to my attention. The first has been by weight/health. I am overweight. This didn't happen overnight, but has creeped up throughout our 22 years of marriage and bearing six children. But I am nearly double what I weighed in high school and at the beginning of my marriage. I have tried to drop the weight off by eating healthier, but have never been very successful and have just resigned myself to the fact that this is who I am at least during this busy season of my life. I don't have time to deal with dieting and exercise. God has convicted my that the fat that I carry around on my body is sin. It is the result of disobedient living. It is sin that I cannot even hide. It is there all around me. It weakens my testimony and my ability to serve God. So, I am committing myself to being obedient in what I put in my mouth and how I nourish my body. God has given me a plan. He has led me to steps/habits for weight loss and better living. I won't go into it now, but it means eating less quantity, cutting out the junk food and sugar, and increasing fruits and vegetables. Eventually, I know God is going to lead me to more activity and exercise, but we are taking one step at a time.

The other area that God is teaching me about obedience is in honoring my husband and being the helper that God created me to be for him. Many months ago, I put a book on hold at the library called "Created to be his Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. I had nearly forgotten about it because it had been so long ago. Well, it was finally my turn to check this book out at the library. I figured that since I had waited so long for this book, I would not be able to renew it when it comes due because others have it on hold, as well, so I decided to set aside my obedience study and jump onto this for the next few weeks. Little did I realize how this fits right in. God's timing is perfect. I do not believe that it is a coincidence that I got my hands on this book in the midst of my obedience study. So I am learning what it means to be my husband's helper according to God's Word. I didn't even realize how much work I need in this area.

I'll sign off with a verse from my study this morning:

3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.
Psalm 37:3-8