Quiet Place

2011-10-04T07:34:00.002-05:00

Proverbs 29:18

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁸Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]--blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he.^(A)

Freedom from the Spirit of Anger

2011-06-17T06:50:00.000-05:00

The other day I was listening to a sermon by S. M. Davis called "Freedom from the Spirit of Anger." (The text of this sermon can be found here.) When I began listening to it, I had in my mind that I was looking for ways to help my children in the area of their tempers. I didn't realize how very convicting it would be for me. I don't consider my self an angry person. I am usually fairly calm, patient and don't lose my temper. But sometimes I do, and oftentimes I am feeling irritated. This is often directed toward my children and they know it. I was very convicted that I have a spirit of anger within me. Rev. Davis points out that there is no biblical justification for anger.

Psalm 37:8 says, "cease from anger and forsake wrath." Notice what this verse does not say. It does not say, "keep spiritual anger and forsake carnal anger."
Proverbs 19: 19 says, "A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again."
Proverbs 27: 4 says, "wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous." "Outrageous" means "like a downpour or a flood." It’s not possible to have a little bit of anger. Anger is a flood.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, "anger resteth in the bosom of fools."
Galatians 5: 19-20. "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, etc."

And "VICTORY IN THE AREA OF THE SPIRIT OTHERS SENSE COMING FROM YOU IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN VICTORY IN THE AREA OF ACTIONS OTHERS SEE YOU DOING." I realize that I often spend entire days walking around with an attitude of mild irritation. Let's face it, mothering is a challenge and child training can be frustrating. However, my attitude of irritation has its roots in anger and self centeredness. The worst thing is that I am teaching my children to also have a spirit of anger. I am feeling so convicted by this. The Holy Spirit and kindly been pointing out my anger to me the last couple of days. So often I will be frustrated at something for something they did and have difficulty controlling my temper. What they did would be very wrong and I would feel justified in my anger. But there is no biblical justification for anger.

Through this I am brought to mind of Michelle Duggar. I have always been impressed with the Duggar family. One of the things that most impresses me is the sweet spirit of Michelle, the mom. Childish tempers may fly and things get very chaotic, but manages to speak calmly and thoughtfully to her children. As I listened to this sermon, I realized that she is a living, breathing example of someone who is so filled with the right Spirit, the Holy Spirit, that the spirit of anger has no place in her. I am so grateful to be able to see that because I know that this is what God desired for me. To live up to my full potential as God's girl, that spirit of anger within me must be shoved right out the door. With God's help, it will be.

Why Jesus is the ONLY Way

2010-10-08T09:22:00.000-05:00

Mourning a Loss

2010-09-09T07:45:00.000-05:00

This has been a difficult week for me. I shared last year a bit about our family's struggles to find a new church home. We have found a new church that didn't exactly match our list of wants, but it feels right. I know it is the place where God wants us right now. One of our concerns through this transition was harming the close friendships that we had at our former church. There are many there that we love like family. Many of them are part of a women's bible study that I have attended for seven years. We have laughed and cried together, and had the blessing of praying over each other's needs.

I decided to continue meeting with this group at our old church because of those friendships that I value so much. However, through a conversation with a friend from that study, my eyes were opened to the fact that there is bitterness and resentment towards me and another member who also left the church but still attends. This really wounds me because I thought those bonds of friendship were strong enough to weather this transition we were making. Now, I see that they are not. So, the question is, now that I know this, what do I do? During my morning bible study a couple of days ago, I was studying about obedience and submission to God. At that very moment, I got a very strong sensation that this is the time to step away from that bible study. As I tried to ignore this thought, I went back to reading about obedience and submission to God. [sigh] I knew the painful choice that I must make.

This morning is the first meeting of this bible study. I feel pretty sad. I am mourning the loss of those close bonds with those ladies. However I do not regret my choice. I know that bowing out gracefully was the best thing to do, for if I stayed, I may become a stumbling block to others faith. If my presence causes negative, ungodly feelings in others, then I should not be there.

These verses come to mind this morning:

"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. 1 Corinthians 10:23, 31-33

As I grow in my understanding of God, I am realizing that this life here on earth is not about me at all. Our human nature is selfish and is naturally focused on our own needs and wants. I think part of the process of sanctification (becoming more holy and Christlike) is understanding that obedience to God is first. That knocks my own desires down the priority list. So, in this particular instance, I have a bible study that fills a need in my life for Christian fellowship with other women, but in obedience God I am giving that up because my needs do not outweigh the fact that I may be a stumbling block to others in their relationship with God.

So, I sit here at home this morning lifting up those who are still there in prayer, looking to God to provide for my needs of fellowship. I have no doubts that He will. He always does provide.

2010-08-30T06:55:00.002-05:00

“Each child came to us directly from the presence of God and a parent's daily work is to lead the child back from whence she came --- back into the presence of God. To simply keep inviting the child into the transformative presence of God -- to live before Him ourselves.” Ann Voskamp (A Holy Experience)

I want to be a Wife of Valor

2010-08-26T07:16:00.000-05:00

I am continuing my study of being a submissive wife to my husband, obedient to God. The best description of a godly wife shows up in Proverbs 31:10-31. It begins by saying that a "wife of noble character is hard to find." Some translations say "virtuous" or "excellent." The original Hebrew word used here is chayil. I find it odd that this word has been translated this way here because its definition is actually strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army. In the King James Version of the bible, it is often translated as army, man of valor, forces, valiant, strength, riches, power, and might. So, although "excellent", "virtuous" and "noble" do fit here, they seem like only part of the definition. When we think of a godly, submissive wife, a picture of a mousy doormat comes to mind. I don't believe a doormat would ever be described as chayil. According to this, a godly wife is a force. She is a woman of action that makes things happen.

Listen to this description:

"The woman described here is of priceless value. She has physical strength, mental strength, moral strength and spiritual strength. Above all she loves God deeply and reverently. She is characterized in this section six ways, and I'll point them out to you as we just look together at the Scripture...six ways. Her character as a wife, her devotion as a homemaker, her generosity as a neighbor, her influence as a teacher, her effectiveness as a mother and her excellence as a person...the sum of all of that makes the excellent wife. And I might add that this is no woman in particular but this is the woman that every woman should seek to emulate. She is rare, look at verse 10, an excellent wife...by the way, the word excellent in Hebrew means force, a woman of force, a woman of substance, a woman of strength would be another way to characterize her. It's excellent in the sense of her strength spiritually, morally, mentally, physically. She is a woman of substances. She is a woman who has made a dent in society. She is one who makes a difference. There's a force about her life. This kind of wife, he says, who can find? Very rare. Hard to find this kind of woman."
- John MacArthur :: Grace to You

What a wonderful picture to keep in the forefront of our minds as we strive to become the women/wives that God created us to be! I am excited to study this further. If you want to study with me, I am in Week #4 of "A Wife's Biblical Submission" (see right sidebar banner). More specifically, I am here.

Submission vs. Obedience

2010-08-13T07:52:00.001-05:00

Wives are called to submit to their own husbands. This is commanded in Scripture. (Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 5:24, Colossians 3:18) I think it is hard for a modern day woman to know what that really means. We have been raised in an age of feminism and the idea of submission is foreign. We relate it to obedience. Yes, it does look like obedience, but there is more to it. There is the component of attitude.

God does not call us to robotically obey our husbands. We are partners and helpers to them. They can bounce ideas off of us and we discuss things. The wife's opinion is just as important. But ultimately, someone has to be in charge and make a decision. God has set it up that way. Jesus is the head over a man, and the man is head over his wife. This provides a sense of order. We, as wives, are called to defer to our husbands and submit to his God-given authority. Not only are we to obey, but we need to do it with a good attitude. Our husbands need to feel like we are on their team and not have to fight us at every turn.

So, today I will do an attitude check. Am I cheerfully submitting to my husband? When I do, I am ultimately submitting to my Lord.

What to study along with me? Click the button on the right that say's, "A Wife's Biblical Submission." I am working on week three. God bless!

2010-08-11T10:01:00.000-05:00

"The people who know their God, stand firm and take action." Daniel 11:32

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

18 Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband

2010-07-27T07:10:00.003-05:00

(From "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace)

Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?"
Ask your husband, "How can I help you accomplish those goals?"
Ask your husband, "Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?"
Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
Save some of your energy everyday for him.
Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, job, ladies' Bible studies, etc.
Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals. Some examples are to offer to run errands for him, organize your day to be available to him with his projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals. Examples are get up early in the morning to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording telephone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful record of money spent to keep up with the budget.
Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to you husband.
When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, you husband is glorified when you obey your husband.

Modern Day Rib

2010-07-23T06:33:00.004-05:00

I am continuing my study of what God says about being a wife to my husband. I have finished the book, "Creative Counterpart" and have begun to read "An Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Both books discuss what it means to be a biblically submissive wife, but are very different styles.

This morning, I took a break from the book and decided to read the the website I mentioned before, "A Wife's Biblical Submission." The link for this online study can be found in the sidebar to the right. I am reading from Week 2 of the study which discusses how the woman was taken from the man's rib. If you think about the purpose of a physical rib, it is protection. A rib is a delicate thing, but yet strong. It protects both the heart and the lungs.

It is interesting that God chose this rib to create woman. In general we tend to think about men as the protectors of women, but a wife plays an important role in protecting her husband. She protects his heart, by always loving and supporting him. Even if a man faces negativity all day long, he can deal with it if he comes home to a loving wife that supports him and respects him no matter what. If the reverse is true, no matter how much respect and kudos the world gives a man, he will be beaten down and weakened if he gets no respect at home from his wife. A rib also protects the lungs. The lungs take in air from the atmosphere. We, as wives, need to protect that atmosphere. How do we do that? Most importantly, we need to blanket his atmosphere with prayer. Next, we can make his home a place of peace and restoration. We can also choose to bless him with our words. We need to do this intentionally.

This role as protector is a totally new concept to me. I will have to remind myself of this role until it becomes habit, as well as pray for God to reveal where my husband has needs in this area and how I can respond.

Do you want to join me in studying about our roles as godly wives? I would enjoy discussing this with you. You can follow the link to the left or pick up one of the books that I mentioned. Leave me a comment and link to your blog. I would enjoy seeing how God is leading you.

2010-07-09T06:43:00.001-05:00

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:4

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

On Being a Creative Counterpart to my Husband

2010-07-08T06:51:00.000-05:00

No matter what you call it, help meet, creative counterpart, submissive wife, it is clear from scripture that is what God has called us, as wives, to be. The struggle in this day and age of feminism is to know what that looks like. Good examples are few.

In general, most women find the idea of putting their husband's needs above their own and serving him rather repugnant. We have been taught from an early age that submitting to any man is an archaic idea from the unenlightened past.

However, scripture clearly says that the woman was created for the man.

"For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

Man and woman were not created simultaneously. No, woman was created after man to be a helper to him.

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'” Genesis 2:18

I know that many women may find the idea of this rather offensive. I might, too, if it were not for the fact that I trust in god and believe in ther Truth of His Word.

So, if I believe that I was created by God to be a helper to my husband, what exactly does that mean? I know for a fact that my husband would be extremely irritated if I called him to consult on every little household decision or child behavioral issue. He would also hate to be married to a doormat. He has told me that it is a comfort to him that I am a strong, capable, independent woman.

So, I am searching the scriptures, being still, and listening to God to understand what being an ideal wife to my husband and fulfilling at least part of God's purpose for me looks like.

Striving to be a Submissive Wife

2010-07-06T06:54:00.002-05:00

In my last post I mentioned that in my morning quiet time I was studying obedience. God has impressed upon me that serving God means obedience to God in all instances. I believe it is no coincidence that I got my hands on the book Created to be his Help Meet which discusses the concept of what it means to be a godly wife during this time. I had to read through the book relatively quickly to get through it all before it was due back at the library and felt as though I wasn't finished with this study. Well, I always say that our God is a God who provides. Yesterday I stumbled upon an online bible study called A Wife's Biblical Submission. This is an in depth study of Proverbs 31: 10-31. I have decided to participate in this and will be posting what God is teaching me through this study here on this blog.

For those of you who do not know me in real life and have just found this blog, here is a little bit about me:
My name is Trish. 22 years ago I married my high school sweetheart, Barry. We had our first date the day after my 15th birthday and there has never been another guy for me. We got married when I was 19 and he was 21. We have 6 children: four daughters ages 16, 13, 6, & 3 and two sons ages 8 & 17 months. We are a homeschooling family living on four acres in rural Indiana.

Our family leans to the creative side. I have a need to create. Some of my outlets for this are photography, digital scrapbooking, cooking, and sewing. My children, thus far, have followed suit. This is very evident in my oldest two daughters who are becoming amazing artists.

We also have a family business owning/managing two apartment buildings. This role is a constant challenge for me. It is definitely not my nature to be to be a landlord or a bookkeeper, but I am learning and growing and working on my attitude because I have come to realize that this is an area where I am truly a help meet to my husband.

I am hoping that through this study, I can learn more about my God-given role as a helper to my husband.

Obedience

2010-06-10T06:44:00.004-05:00

This summer, I have been led to study "obedience" during my morning bible study and quiet time. God has shown me areas of my life where I am and have been disobedient to Him. This is a hard thing to look at. [sigh] But it is important that I see this. So, I have been seeking what God say in His Word about being obedient. There is plenty!

God has been showing me that it ALL is about obedience to Him. I have heard it said that as a Christian, our goal is to get to heaven and take as many as we can with us. That's not a bad goal, but I think it is somewhat incorrect. I think our goal should be complete obedience to God and His will. I do think that leading others to know Christ is a result of that obedience, but by having obedience to God being our first goal, it takes the pressure off of us to figure out how to make this happen. We just need to follow orders.

The first step in obedience to God is learning to listen. We cannot follow God's commands, if we do not clearly know what they are. So, how do we hear God? We can pray AND listen. We can read God's living Word. This is a powerful combination.

The second step is, of course, doing what God has said to us. I believe it is only through the power of God that we have the ability to obey. It is hard! Daily, we need to re-commit ourselves to God, offering our lives as living sacrifices.

I am not sure what I expected to discover exactly through the process of my study, but I have been a bit surprised by the areas of my life that God has brought to my attention. The first has been by weight/health. I am overweight. This didn't happen overnight, but has creeped up throughout our 22 years of marriage and bearing six children. But I am nearly double what I weighed in high school and at the beginning of my marriage. I have tried to drop the weight off by eating healthier, but have never been very successful and have just resigned myself to the fact that this is who I am at least during this busy season of my life. I don't have time to deal with dieting and exercise. God has convicted my that the fat that I carry around on my body is sin. It is the result of disobedient living. It is sin that I cannot even hide. It is there all around me. It weakens my testimony and my ability to serve God. So, I am committing myself to being obedient in what I put in my mouth and how I nourish my body. God has given me a plan. He has led me to steps/habits for weight loss and better living. I won't go into it now, but it means eating less quantity, cutting out the junk food and sugar, and increasing fruits and vegetables. Eventually, I know God is going to lead me to more activity and exercise, but we are taking one step at a time.

The other area that God is teaching me about obedience is in honoring my husband and being the helper that God created me to be for him. Many months ago, I put a book on hold at the library called "Created to be his Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. I had nearly forgotten about it because it had been so long ago. Well, it was finally my turn to check this book out at the library. I figured that since I had waited so long for this book, I would not be able to renew it when it comes due because others have it on hold, as well, so I decided to set aside my obedience study and jump onto this for the next few weeks. Little did I realize how this fits right in. God's timing is perfect. I do not believe that it is a coincidence that I got my hands on this book in the midst of my obedience study. So I am learning what it means to be my husband's helper according to God's Word. I didn't even realize how much work I need in this area.

I'll sign off with a verse from my study this morning:

3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.
Psalm 37:3-8

Seeking Church

2009-08-27T06:40:00.003-05:00

We are still struggling with finding a church to call home. I feel like I need to write about this for myself to clarify my thoughts about it. Our family has been attending a Missionary church in a nearby little town. We have all been really enjoying it. As hubby puts it, if I were to make a check list of everything I was looking for in a church, this place has it all. But...something doesn't feel quite right to either of us and we can't quite put a finger on what that is. I told him that I think that is because it is not where God wants us to stay. I feel like God is taking us on a journey. Perhaps finding a church home is more about the process than the final outcome. I believe that we can worship God anywhere and in many ways. This has been forcing me to really think about what I feel is important to me in a church home.
Here is what I have come up with at this time:

God is present.
The BIBLE is taught. Members are striving to know the bible and live it out in their lives.
I am challenged by the teaching.
My children are taught from the bible, reinforcing what I teach at home.
My (older) children are challenged to grow spiritually.
Each of us is able to form strong connections with fellow believers who can uphold each other.

These seem to be the most important things to me. On a secondary level, I would love to find a place with a good group of homeschoolers. I am weary of being the strange, lone, homeschooling family. I would love for my children to interact with other homeschooled children. I realize that I can join a homeschool support group to fill this need, but I would not like to add one more commitment to my schedule. I would rather my focus be on church life. Also, I would love to find a church where our family's creative talents could be used and fostered. Our's is a family of artists. I love the graphic/digital arts and photography, my oldest draws exceptionally well and is a great photographer, my second daughter also draws and is especially talented with tiny clay sculpture and claymation. The rest are still fairly young, but I already a see artistry beginning to bloom in them. Since it is my prayer that they learn how to use these God-given talents for Him, where better to nurture these skills outside the home than at church?

We are planning to visit a new church this Sunday. This is always a challenge with a large family to try and figure out where everyone needs to go. It is also a bit unsettling for us all. It takes us out of our comfort zone and that is not fun. I pray that it is not upsetting to our children. I realize how hard it is for them to show up as the outsider. It is not easy as an adult either.

2009-08-11T07:28:00.003-05:00

Satan's meeting (read even if you're busy)

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church." "We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth." "We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their savior." "Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.""So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, but steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ." "This is what I want you to do", said the devil:"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.

"Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."

"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."

"Keep them from spending time with their children."

"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."

"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive."

"To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblicalmusic constantly."

"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.""Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."

"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."

"Invade their driving moments with billboards."

"Flood their mail boxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs,sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products , services and false hopes."

"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives."

"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night." "Give them headaches too!"

"If they don't give theirhusbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."

"That willfragment their families quickly!"

"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."

"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."

"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."

"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation."

"Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead."

"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus." "Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."

"It will work!"

It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and there. Having little time for their God or their families. Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.I guess the question is, has the devil been successful at his scheme?

You be the judge!

Does "busy" mean:

B-eing

U-nder

S-atan's

Y-oke?

No one living in this present age can deny that there is a grain of truth to this little story. Busy-ness plagues most of us. Life is just very full. We live in an age where we are constantly bombarded with noise and information. It takes great effort to unplug from it all and give our minds a break. We have to consciously turn off all the noise and distractions and oftentimes remove ourselves to a quiet, solitary place. Even 2000 years ago, Jesus found that He needed to do this.

"Very early in the morning while it was still dark, Jesus got
up, left the house, went to a solitary place and He prayed" Mark
1:35

I try very hard to do this each day, but it take great effort and often something happens to mess this up. Either I oversleep or one of the children has needs early in the morning.

Jesus also talks about "pruning" in the bible.

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts
off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear
fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean
because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in
you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can
you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the
branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart
from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a
branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into
the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask
whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that
you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John
15:1-8

If a grapevine or a fruit tree is left unpruned it produces fruit on all of its branches, but because its energy, nutrients and resources are spread around to more areas, the fruit is smaller and not as good. If the vine or tree is pruned, the plant's energy is focused on fewer fruits and they are bigger and better. We, too, are like this. If we are busy with too many things, our energy is spread out too thin and we cannot devote enough to any one thing to do it well. If there is too much going on in our lives, it just becomes busy-ness and we begin to just go through the motions without doing anything with excellence.

So, the question is, what needs to be pruned away in my life? That is pretty tough. For myself, I could pretty easily prune away the television. The rest of my family would balk at this (especially my hubby) and we do spend a certain amount of family time together enjoying certain shows. For myself, I rarely just spend time sitting in front of the TV. I think I could even eliminate it more, though.

I also think I need to evaluate my personal hobbies, activities, and even school lessons for the kids. Even though most of these things have value and are "good" things, if there are too many, they put a strain on our lives. I think it is important to look to God to prioritize all of our activities. HE is the master gardener and knows which branches in us need pruning. Sometimes the pruning can be painful, but in the end it is worth it to produce good and godly fruit.

I am seeking God to prune me. Show me what things need to drop from my life and my time.

2009-08-06T07:47:00.002-05:00

"I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. " Eph. 4:2-3 The Message

I want to RUN on the road God called me to travel. But there are many days I feel like I am doing it in "fits and starts" as the verse above mentions. I want to be steady and disciplined, but am not always. I suppose I get bogged down if I lose my focus on God. If my eyes are on Him, I can travel forth sure and steady. I do not need to go looking for what I should be doing, He will bring what He wants me to do before me as I travel this road. I need to remember this.

Preparation and the Armor of God

2009-07-28T06:14:00.002-05:00

In my last post I discussed that being prepared has been on my mind of late. I made that nice little list of ways I felt it was important to be prepared, but later realized that there is something I forgot: Spiritual Preparation.

First of all, it is important to know where you will spend eternity. This life, as we know it on earth, is a short one. Beyond this life, I know that I will spend the rest of my time with my Creator, God. This is not because of anything I have done or how good I have been. It is only because of my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If there is anyone reading this who does not have this same security in this, please contact me I we can talk.

Secondly, beyond salvation, there is the preparation of knowing the Word of God and living it.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you
may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the
breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted
with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In
addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish
all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the
sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:13-17

Paul talks about the armor of God in the book of Ephesians. Each piece is an important step of preparation. Verse 13, that I highlighted, stood out to me today. We need to know the gospel of peace and be prepared to give it feet. I think to do this, we need to know the Word of God backwards and forwards. The only way to know it like that is to be constantly reading it. This is very important preparation indeed.

Be Prepared

2009-07-26T07:01:00.004-05:00

"Be Prepared."

That statement has been pressed in front of me today.

I was reading a blog by the sister of a woman who was in an airplane crash with her husband. She mentioned that her sister had just taken on the mantra "Be Prepared" the week before the accident. How fortunate because her house was in perfect order and well stocked making it so easy to care for the couple's four children. My mother is in a similar, although thankfully less severe, situation. She fell and broke her pelvis in two places. Since she will be off her feet for quite some time, she mentioned being thankful that the house was in order before it happened.

I can't help but turn my thoughts to my own home. [sigh] It's not so in order. It is messy, unorganized and even my own family members, and often even *I* can't find things. If something were to happen to me today, how difficult would it be for my family to function? I certainly hope, I don't feel burdened by this because something tragic is going to happen in my family, but it is making me think. I am not being a good steward of my stuff or my time when I am unorganized. For example, I spend way too much time digging through my big ol' pile of clean laundry to try and find a complete outfit for each of my kids each day. Of course it also takes time to sort, fold and hang all those clothes, too, but it is probably a better way to spend my time because there is way less frustration involved.

So, what does it mean to be prepared? I am thinking about this and here are a few ideas that I have come up with that I think are important for our family household:

Minimal clutter because clutter hides what's important.

Pantry stocked with items to make complete meals (still trying to decide how far ahead to stock for).

Clothing in order for all family members.

Medicine and first aid supplies stocked and organized.

Files organized enough that someone else can easily find things.

Emergency fund set aside.

I am sure I could come up with a much longer list, but I think these are the biggies. If these things were in place and in order, we would be better prepared if something happened to either Barry or me or if something happened to make us unable to get supplies.

Throwing Caution to the Wind

2009-07-22T08:12:00.004-05:00

The Story About Investment
14-18"It's also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his
servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand
dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their
abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled
his master's investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single
thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master's money.
19-21"After a long absence, the master of those three servants came
back and settled up with them. The one given five thousand dollars showed him
how he had doubled his investment. His master commended him: 'Good work! You did
your job well. From now on be my partner.'
22-23"The servant with the
two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master's investment. His master
commended him: 'Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.'
24-25"The servant given one thousand said, 'Master, I know you have
high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no
allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good
hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last
cent.'
26-27"The master was furious. 'That's a terrible way to
live! It's criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I
was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have
done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would
have gotten a little interest.
28-30"'Take the thousand and give it to
the one who risked the most. And get rid of this "play-it-safe" who
won't go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.'
-Matthew 25: 14-30 The Message

I have read this parable many times. The version I usually read it in uses the term "talents" instead of money which makes its hidden meaning more evident. God gives different gifts to each of us. These are talents are skills that come naturally. He does not give them to us to keep hidden under a rock, but instead to use. Through use, we become more adept at our skills. We hone our talents. God expects us to do this and to use them to His benefit (not just for our own selfish gain).

So, this is not a new concept for me even though it is something I should be reminded of regularly. What is a new idea that came out of the The Message is that God does not want us playing it safe. He wants us to do hard things and take risks. I don't think this means just any risk. But if we are in God's will, don't we have the best safety net there is? There is no better security than that.

So, I need to consider what areas of my life that God wants me to "go out on a limb." Some of our family's lifestyle choices could be considered throwing caution to the wind. Putting the size of our family in God's hands and allowing each blessing of a child seems quite crazy and risky to many people. There are days I think I am nuts myself, but I know in my heart that it is the right choice. I cannot imagine life without any one of my six children and if God decides to bless us with another I will joyfully accept that gift. Homeschooling is another area that I feel like I am out on a limb sometimes. It is a challenge and there are many days I would love to just hand the responsibility of teaching and training my children over to someone else. But God directed us onto this path and I know that it is the right choice for us.

I am wondering, though, where God wants me to go out on a limb right now. Where am I holding back and not using all of my God given talents? What area of life do I need to stretch? Something to prayerfully consider.

Church Home?

2009-07-14T06:11:00.002-05:00

Hubby and I are in a process right now seeking what is best for our family in a church home. This is hard! I don't enjoy church shopping. We have attended two different churches over the course of the past month along with our own. One is a rather large church with a K-12 school and a weekly broadcast television show on a local network. It was nice. The kids seems to get something out of it, and the message both weeks was very good. Hubby loves how well they do things technically because that is what he does for a living (designs audio, video and lighting for churches) and gets excited by the thought of being able to serve in these areas. Part of me struggles with the fact that everything is kinda "slick" because the service is a show. Don't get me wrong, I believe God is present and those involved truly do have the right heart, but something doesn't feel in my gut 100% right for me. Perhaps that is just the nudge of the Holy Spirit because this is not ultimately where God wants us to be.

The other church we attended is a good-sized missionary church in a nearby little town. We know a handful of people from our current church who have started attending there including my brother-in-law's family. So, it made logical sense that we should try it. It, too, was very nice. I enjoyed the service and the message. There were several points made that I had just been brought to my attention during my own personal bible study the past week. I love when God does that - reinforcing spiritual thought He has already given you. The children seems to really enjoy themselves. Of course, for a couple of them, it helped that they got to attend with their cousins, but even my teenage girls really seems to enjoy their class as well as the service. They were really impressed with how friendly and welcoming the other kids were - something that doesn't always happen with that age group. My younger ones all seems to get a lot out of their classes and service (they have their own children's service). I was amazed at how well my son was able to tell me all that he learned about, retelling their bible story back to me in great detail. At home, I try to get him to narrate a story back to me and I barely get anything out of him. I am so curious as to how the told their story to make it stick so well.

Although overall we really were all pretty pleased, neither Barry nor myself felt a definite feeling that we were "home." So, I am wondering if that is how it works. To be honest, I am not 100% sure what I am even looking for. As much as I don't want it to be so, I can't deny that I feel that God is nudging us out of our comfort zone to seek another church home. Although there are many things at our current church that I struggle with and feel impotent to change, a big important part of what I feel a church home is, I do have. That is the people and the fellowship. I love the people and there are so many that I am very close to. I believe that the church in its foundation is the fellowship with other believers.

So, I am thinking and praying about what I should be seeking in a church home. I really want a bible-based teaching church. I do not need Sunday morning feel-good, fluffy sermons. I want to study what God says in His Word, even if it is hard to swallow. I want fellowship with other believers fervently committed to Christ. I want my children to be inspired to seek God in their own lives. Ideally, I want a place where there are at least some homeschoolers (at our current church there is one other family). It would be nice for my children not to feel like complete outsiders. It would be nice to have some homeschooling support within the church even if it is just a group of moms that can gather to uplift each other. It would be nice to not have to feel like I have to defend my homeschooling position all the time.

So, the question still is, where are we supposed to be, God? Please guide us.

Spiritual Rhythms

2009-07-11T08:52:00.002-05:00

"We cannot transform ourselves.
What we can do is create the conditions in which spiritual transformation can take place, by developing and maintaining a rhythm of spiritual practices that keep up open and available to God." -Ruth Haley Barten Sacred Rhythms

What is my motivation?

2009-07-09T07:14:00.003-05:00

The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what he tells you. And
that's it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and
judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's
good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 The Message (Emphasis mine)

These verses got me thinking about the "hidden intent" behind my actions. Why do I do the things that I do. I would be lying if I said I did everything out of pure motivations. Really - who does? We are all selfish by nature, me just as much or more than anyone else. So, I am thinking through my actions from yesterday. What was my motivation? Most of it was purely for myself. It wasn't because I was doing what God told me to do. Yesterday, I was struggling to hear God and find right direction. So, I spent a lot of the day rather aimlessly bouncing from one task to another more or less as a whim struck me. Even still, I got a fair amount of work done, but I think the day could have gone so much smoother with just a bit of planning. And there was so much of my day that was wasted on stupid stuff.

Today, I am going to seek more Godly organization and think about the hidden intent behind my actions.

Pray for it

2009-07-08T07:10:00.004-05:00

Absolutely everything, ranging from small to large, as you make it a part of
your believing prayer, gets included as you lay hold of God." Matthew 21:22 The
Message

In other words, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (New International Version) I believe this, but sometimes have a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I mean "Wow!" That is quite a statement. I really like how the message puts this. Anything is possible as you lay hold of God. I take that to mean that you have to be striving to be in the center of God's will for your life. That being said, you will not be asking for crazy things that are outside of God's will. I have not been praying to win the lottery because I do not believe that is part of God's plan for me. (But if you want to dump a pile of money in my lap, God, I would be ok with that. [wink])

However, there ARE things that I do feel are part of God's plan for me and my family. Some of these things I don't even have a firm grasp on. They are glimpses of visions that God has given me. Sometimes I get frustrated because I cannot see the whole picture. As I read this verse this morning, the idea came to me that I need to intentionally include them in my believing prayers. I include what I know, believing it will happen, even if I have no idea how. God will make them happen and through this process of prayer through which I will come to a greater understanding of what my actions need to be.

Church Home

2009-07-06T08:12:00.004-05:00

Over the course of the last 10 years, I have come to discover how important it is to have a church family. My husband and I both basically grew up in the church. For him it was from birth and for me since about the 5th grade. In fact, that is where we met - church. We consistently attended our little Methodist church until about college age. At that time, most of our peers went off to college and we, instead, got married and went to college locally. It is hard to get motivated to get up on a Sunday morning when the only people you know at church are a few of your parents' friends. So, we drifted away for a while. Once we had children, we felt the nudge to return to regular worship every Sunday.

Soon it was apparent to us that this particular church was not meeting our needs and not where we were supposed to be, but we continued to attend because it was our church home where we grew up, got married and baptized our children. We stayed for sentimental reasons. Finally, we got up our nerve (along with my in-laws) and went to another church. We were warmly welcomed, were impressed with all that was available for our children, liked the services, and stayed. (We are not church shoppers, obviously.)

We have now been attending this church for 10 years. Many people at church feel like my second family and I love that. We are actively involved. I can't say that it has always been totally peachy, though. Over time, things change. Pastors leave and new take their place and the overall climate can change. Several years ago the change was definitely geared toward the older generation and many of our peers left the church. We, too, at that time considered making a move. Ultimately, after much prayer and thought, we decided that we should stay and attempt to make our church a vital outreach of God.

Several years have passed. It is still a church of predominately older folks. A study done in our church a few years ago showed the median age to be 65. The Sunday class that hubby and I attend is the "young" adult Sunday School. We are in our 40s. That is not necessarily bad, but it seems that the overall mentality of the church is old. In many cases, modern ways of doing things are perceived as unnecessary and a waste of resources. Meanwhile, I watch my children, especially my older ones, going through the motions of church with disinterest.

To add insult to injury, my husband works for a company that works closely every day with large, vibrant, growing churches. He sees the amazing possibilities to reach others for Christ daily. He has tried to bring some of his knowledge of experience to our church in an attempt to improve that quality of how things are done in our church, but has felt very impotent. After several years of this, he has come to the conclusion that we attend a church for old people and change is not desired. Therefore, he needs to decide, does he want to attend a church for old people or not. He has decided "not".

As for me, I see many of the things that frustrate my husband and they concern me, too, especially when it comes to my children. I want them to want to come to church because they want to worship their God, not to see their friends or because we make them. I fear that when they are on their own, they will not have the desire to bother with church and that breaks my heart.

So, we have been discussing the option of finding another church home. Part of me cannot imagine doing that because it would be like divorcing myself from part of my family. It pains me to even consider it. When my husband said he felt that he really needed to search elsewhere for a church home, I instantly told him that I could not do that. He feels this so strongly that he will go somewhere else and just let us continue to attend our church. I feel like this is certainly not right to separate the family. I think we need to be united in our church home. So, I have been praying about this..a lot! After praying, I know in my heart that our family needs to begin the process of finding the right church home for us. We are searching. Ultimately, we may even decide that we should stay right where we are, but we won't know that for sure until we venture forth. I pray that God will speak to us and show us where we are supposed to be. I know that the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. That is where I am striving to be. I just pray for God's wisdom and guidance to get us there along with the strength to leave my comfort zone.

With God all thing are possible

2009-07-04T07:02:00.001-05:00

The Message
Matthew 19 Read This Chapter
19:26
Jesus looked hard at them and said, "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it."

A good reminder!

Lack of Focus and Faith

2009-06-30T07:07:00.003-05:00

14 At the bottom of the mountain, they were met by a crowd of waiting
people. As they approached, a man came out of the crowd and fell to his knees
begging, 15 "Master, have mercy on my son. He goes out of his mind and
suffers terribly, falling into seizures. Frequently he is pitched into the fire,
other times into the river. 16 I brought him to your disciples, but they
could do nothing for him." 17 Jesus said, "What
a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many
times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up
with this? Bring the boy here." 18 He ordered the afflicting demon out -
and it was out, gone. From that moment on the boy was well. 19 When the
disciples had Jesus off to themselves, they asked, "Why couldn't we throw it
out?" 20 "Because you're not yet taking God
seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of
faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would
move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to
tackle." Matthew 17: 14-20 (emphasis mine)

Each day as I do my morning bible reading, I look for a verse that stands out and speaks to me. This morning I was reading Matthew 17. I found it interesting how The Message translated verse 17. Jesus seems a bit frustrated and disgusted when a boy with a demon is brought to him after his disciples failed to cast it out. He says, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives!" Did earlier generations have a true sense of God? I'm sure Adam and Eve did and probably several generations after them. Perhaps, by the time of Noah, that sense of God was nearly gone (except for perhaps Noah and his family) and that is why He was so discouraged with man.

So what is Jesus saying here? We should have a sense of God and a focus in our lives. It seems pretty clear that God should be that focus. Perhaps, because He goes on to discuss faith, faith could be described as focus on God.

So, then I need to ask myself, "What am I focusing on each day?" Even if my intent may be to focus on God, I think I get too distracted with the acts of living and doing the work each day of being a wife and mother. The crazy thing is that this work is from God. So how do I have a sense of God in my day to day, moment by moment actions? So what is the trick to keeping Him in forefront of our thoughts as we cook a meal, wash a dish or hang some clothes? Perhaps I need regular reminders of Him. Those could be items in my view to reminds me to focus on God such as bible verses tacked up or a symbol placed where my eye falls during my work. Another thought is to create benchmarks in my day where I stop my activity to pray. We do this at mealtimes already, but I could also listen for the clock to chime and stop to say a short prayer and make sure my focus is on God in the midst of my activity. I am going to try these things. I believe that if I had that sense of God throughout my day, I would make better choices, have more patience and be at peace no matter what the circumstances. And that is my desire.

Jubilee

2009-06-23T07:20:00.002-05:00

"Count off seven Sabbaths of years - seven times seven years: Seven
Sabbaths of years adds up to forty-nine years. 9 Then
sound loud blasts on the ram's horn on the tenth day of the seventh month, the
Day of Atonement. Sound the ram's horn all over the land. 10 Sanctify
the fiftieth year; make it a holy year. Proclaim freedom all over the land to
everyone who lives in it - a Jubilee for you: Each person will go back to his
family's property and reunite with his extended family. 11 The
fiftieth year is your Jubilee year: Don't sow; don't reap what volunteers itself
in the fields; don't harvest the untended vines 12 because
it's the Jubilee and a holy year for you. You're permitted to eat from whatever
volunteers itself in the fields. 13 "In
this year of Jubilee everyone returns home to his family property. 14 "If
you sell or buy property from one of your countrymen, don't cheat him. 15 Calculate
the purchase price on the basis of the number of years since the Jubilee. He is
obliged to set the sale price on the basis of the number of harvests remaining
until the next Jubilee. 16 The
more years left, the more money; you can raise the price. But the fewer years
left, the less money; decrease the price. What you are buying and selling in
fact is the number of crops you're going to harvest. 17 Don't
cheat each other. Fear your God. I am God, your God. 18 "Keep
my decrees and observe my laws and you will live secure in the land. 19 The
land will yield its fruit; you will have all you can eat and will live safe and
secure. 20 Do
I hear you ask, 'What are we going to eat in the seventh year if we don't plant
or harvest?' 21 I
assure you, I will send such a blessing in the sixth year that the land will
yield enough for three years. 22 While
you plant in the eighth year, you will eat from the old crop and continue until
the harvest of the ninth year comes in.

So, is the practice of keeping the Sabbath year and the Jubilee still go on anywhere? I am curious so I checked it out. According to this site, the Jubilee is no longer counted or celebrated. That seems kind of sad. Although the Jews do no cling to Christ for redemption, they also do not cling to the Law as set forth in the Torah.

Wife of Good Character

2009-06-22T06:19:00.006-05:00

For the past few days, I have been reading my bible during my morning quiet time from The Message. It is a modern day paraphrase. Although I wouldn't want to do all my studying out of the version, it can add an interesting perspective to verses, especially ones you have already read and studied before.

Today I got to Proverbs 31 which includes the section about a "wife of noble character."
Because I feel that being a wife/mother/homemaker is one of the highest callings that God has set before me and that these verses are probably the only detailed description of one in the bible, I have studied them fairly often. It is interesting to read them in The Message:

A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.

She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places

and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.

She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside,
plants a garden.

First thing in the morning,
she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves,
eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.

She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.

She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,

and she always says it kindly.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

Originally, I studied these verses in the NIV (New International Version). I like how The Message has made this text more relevant to today. Talk of "servant girls" and "placing my hand to the distaff" do not really apply to my life. However "organizing my day" and "likes to knit and sew" make more sense to me.

There are many nuggets of wisdom within these verses, but the one that gave my pause today was this:

"She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps
them all busy and productive."

As a mom, especially a homeschooling mom, this has special significance for me. My days are busy and with mothering and teaching many, I often struggle to keep tabs on everyone at all times making sure they are "busy and productive." Often I am content with "quiet and not causing trouble" even if that means watching a video or playing a computer game. Not to say that these activities are terrible and should never happen, but there are days I use them as a sort of babysitter so that I can get some things done without children underfoot.

I am going to consciously aware of what my children are doing throughout the day and make an effort to keep them busy and productive. We'll see how it goes with my sanity.

2009-06-21T06:19:00.002-05:00

I am in charge of paying our household bills even though it is not a job I particularly enjoy. I also find myself very busy every day. Due to these two facts, I am bad about paying bills promptly. It is not a matter of not intending to pay the bills. They just get set on my desk and neglected. A while back, I was convicted that I needed to be better in this area and be an on-time and even and early bill payer. As a Christian witness, this is more honoring to God. I was very diligent in this area for quite some time, but life got over the top busy again, and I have a pile of bills sitting on my desk again. Everyday I tell myself that I have got to get to those, yet they still sit there. Then I read this verse this morning:

"'Do not hold back the wages of a hired man overnight. " Lev. 19:13

Hmmm...isn't that exactly what I have been doing? So, in front of God and anyone else reading this, I am committing once again to being a prompt bill payer. With God's help I can be the person He desires me to be.

Live with Intention

2009-06-20T07:19:00.003-05:00

3-8"What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the
seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it
sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered
just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the
weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest
dreams.

18-19"Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news
of the kingdom and doesn't take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so
the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person's heart. This is
the seed the farmer scatters on the road.
20-21"The seed cast in the
gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But
there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some
difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.
22"The seed cast
in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and
illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what
was heard, and nothing comes of it.
23"The seed cast on good earth is
the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond
his wildest dreams." Matthew 13 (The Message)

During my morning quiet time today, I read the parable of the Sower. (See above in the Message version) I find that even though I am a Christian and believe in Christ with all of my heart, I am not always "good earth." I think that often my life is filled with "weeds." The weeds are the busy-ness of life. There are so many things to do to manage a household of eight. Add to that the homeschooling, managing the apartments, church commitments, etc. and my life is full of so many things to do. The difficult thing is to figure out what things on my daily to-do list are weeds and which are the plants that will produce a harvest "beyond my wildest dreams."

Last night, as I was going to sleep and thinking about all that I need to get done, a thought came strongly into my head and it feels like it is from God. I need to Live with Intention. What does that mean? There are more things to fill my day than I can possibly ever get done. Living with intention, is intentionally choosing those activities instead of just merely dealing with things as they come at me. It is planning ahead instead of dealing with emergencies as they happen. Now, there are day that are just filled with emergencies and catastrophes that need to be dealt with, but I believe that by planning ahead, we can get less sucked into those things that SEEM like emergencies at the time, but are really not in the eternal picture.

So, my plan of action:

Make sure that I have daily quiet time with God to be able to discern what needs to be weeded out each day.
Make short manageable to-do lists and follow them.

The woman I AM vs. the woman GOD CREATED me to be

2007-04-10T09:50:00.000-05:00

I have been doing some soul searching lately. I don't know about you, but periodically I feel the need to question who I am and what I am doing. Perhaps that is because I have this niggling from God that I have gotten off track, or because life is not running smoothly and I want to be able to do things better.

My life is very FULL right now. I have many things that tug at my attention and my time (and I am not just refering to my five kids ;-). I have many duties as a wife, mother, full-time teacher to my children and manager of my home. Beyond this, I have many duties as an apartment manager. Then there are the other things that I am passionate about. These are the things in the creative realm like my digital design work and photography. All of these are both literally and figuratively pulling at me constantly.

I was saddened to realize that from a financial standpoint, the work I am passionate about (the creative stuff) has very little value and the work that I consider a pure burden (apartment management) can gain me the most income. Of course, raising my children actually costs me. And although there ARE those days I consider it a burden, for the most part it is my first calling and my joy right now.

This realization hit me as I did my taxes this year. It was SO SAD to see how little the creative stuff earns me. Part of me says I should just give it up entirely and not waste my time, but part of me just can't. I am driven to create. It is part of my inmost being and I believe this is a God-given desire and therefore, He has a reason and a purpose for it. But, I need to focus more of my energies on the apartments. [sigh] I have gone along too long just doing the barest minimums in that area. I am crying out to God like a little child throwing a tantrum, "But I don't WANT to do that!" I know God must be trying to grow me.

Hence the title of the blog, "The woman I AM vs. the woman GOD CREATED me to be." I am trying to get some clarity of vision as to who this other woman is. I think that if I could actually visualize her, I could make better choices to become her. Does that make sense? I am trying to not look at what I want for myself but what God desires for me and from me. It is about giving up a certain amount of selfishness. I certainly have some work to do in this area.

Hells Best Kept Secret

2007-03-02T09:40:00.000-06:00

Momma's Guide to Quiet Times in Loud Households

2007-02-07T06:55:00.000-06:00

Sounds like the perfect book for me!

Clarity

2007-01-20T08:25:00.000-06:00

I chose clarity as my word of the year or at least for a season. (See this post). So, I am tying to do a in depth word study of it. I have discovered after searching many versions, that clarity is not a word found in the bible, but I did find it here:

Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)

Exodus 24:10 and they saw the God of Israel. And there was under His feet as it were a paved work of sapphire stone, and it was like the very heavens in its clarity. (New King James)

Acts 22:11And when I saw not, for the clarity of that light, I was led by the hand of fellows, and I came to Damascus. (WYC) (Paul after Jesus came to him in a blinding light)

Revelation 21:11having the clarity of God; and the light of it like [to] a precious stone, as the stone jasper, [and] as crystal. (WYC)

Revelation 21:23And the city hath no need of the sun, neither [of] moon, that they shine in it; for the clarity of God shall lighten it; and the lamb is the lantern of it. (WYC)

CLARITY defined:
clar·i·ty /ˈklærɪti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[klar-i-tee]
–noun
1.
clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.
2.
the state or quality of being clear or transparent to the eye; pellucidity: the clarity of pure water.

Honor Roadblocks

2006-12-29T09:34:00.000-06:00

#1 Anger
Everyone needs to learn to be a peacemaker. Peacemakers seek to bring people together in agreement and look for solutions where everyone wins.

#2 Selfishness
Teach servanthood

#3 Foolishness
Acting before thinking

2006-12-29T09:30:00.000-06:00

Conflict with brothers and sisters is a child's first class in relationships. You home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and honor is the curriculum. Each conflict situation is an opportunity for teaching children how to get along.

Honor-Based Parenting Skills

2006-12-29T09:05:00.000-06:00

#1 Be firm without being harsh.
Talk less and show less emotion

#2 Express sorrow instead of anger.

#3 Use problem solving and decision making.
Involve children

#4 Enjoy children according to their needs and interests

#5 Envision a positive future for your children

2006-12-29T08:46:00.000-06:00

Obedience does things well.
Honor does them beautifully.

6 Ways to teach honor to children

2006-12-29T08:21:00.000-06:00

#1 Teach children to treat people as special.

#2 Teach children to do more than what's expected.

#3 Deal with a bad attitude.

#4 Create honor lessons in life.
Listen with both eyes.
Whoops and Ahhhh game - Whoops for dishonoring speech (i.e. arguing, boasting, whining, complaining, talking too much, being bossy)

#5 Model it.

#6 Appeal to conscience.

Honor

2006-12-29T08:00:00.000-06:00

HONOR
Treating people as special,
doing more than what's expected,
and having a good attitude

OBEDIENCE
Doing what someone says,
right away,
without being reminded.

"If you want your children to fly straight, teach them obedience. If you want them to fly high, teach them honor."

from "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes..." by Scott Turansky

Desert Wanderers

2006-03-02T06:29:00.000-06:00

That's what we are - desert wanderers. We are just like God's people who were rescued out of Egypt. If you are unfamiliar with this story, it can be found in the book of Exodus in the Old testament of the bible. God miraculously led his people out of the bondage of slavery in Egypt and was leading them to a place of rest - a land he had promised their forefathers that he would give them. But they were faithless. Hebrews 3:10 says, "Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways. God became angry with them and announced that none of these faithless ones would enter His rest. God was true to His word. They wandered the desert for 40 years until all of the original people rescued from Egypt were dead with the exception of Caleb and Joshua. These were the only two that remained faithful.

As I was reading Hebrews 3 and 4 this morning, I realized that our lives are very much like the nation of Israel wandering around in the desert. When we decided to believe that Christ is our Savior and put our faith and trust in Him alone, God rescued us from the bondage and slavery to sin just like God rescued the Israelites from bondage and slavery in Egypt. But just like the Israelites had to travel through the desert to reach the promised land and enter into God's rest, we too, need to remain in the world and travel through it before we enter into God's eternal rest. It is during this time that it is SO important that during this time we REMAIN faithful to God. As it says in Psalm 95:7-8, "for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah, as you did that day at Massah in the desert,"

2006-03-02T06:16:00.000-06:00

For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God. Hebrews 3:4 (KJV)

2006-03-01T08:37:00.000-06:00

Righteous chews on wisdom like a dog on a bone,
rolls virtue around on his tongue.

Psalm 37:30 (The Message)

I love the word picture that the Message creates with this verse!

Online Bible Study Tools

2006-03-01T08:19:00.000-06:00

I thought I would share some of what I use to do online bible study.

My favorite site for looking up verses and doing bible searches is:
Bible Gateway
They have a wonderful search function and MANY bible translation available.

Lately, for my daily bible reading, I have been using:
Crosswalk
because I like their "Bible in a Year" feature. It has the entire bible broken up into daily readings. Each day includes Old Testiment, New Testiment and either a Psalm or Proverb. If you register on the site and allow them to place a cookie on your computer, it wall keep track of your progress on a calendar which is nice. They also have several translations to choose from.

Both of he above sites have several study tools as well as commentary.

Another site I like to use when I am really digging into a particular verse is:
Blue Letter Bible
This site is strictly King James version, but I like that you can see the text in it's original Hebrew or Greek. Along with this, each Hebrew/Greek work is defined and every time that particular word is used throughout the bible is listed.

2006-02-14T07:46:00.000-06:00

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my
act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I
try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching
my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my
heart to his eyes. Psalm 18:20-14 (The Message)

This really spoke to me today. I have been feeling a bit under the weather and there has been SO much going on. I feel like my life is full of SO many pieces that I can't keep them straight. I am craving the feeling of being "put back together." This is a reminder that I need to bring all these pieces to Him every day and "review the way he works." I need to keep my focus on Him and all the pieces will fall into place.

Bible Translations

2006-02-08T06:35:00.000-06:00

I am often amazed at how differently passages of scripture will speak to me in different translations. I have been using the Bible in a Year tool at www.crosswalk.com of late for my daily bible reading. I normally an an NIV (New International Version) girl, but a while back I started reading the passages out of the Message bible. It is definitely a very paraphrased version written in a modern day style. I have REALLY been enjoying it. It kind of puts a fresh spin on things for me.

For example, part of today's reading was Psalm 15. In the NIV it reads,

"1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken."

I love verses like this. They tell it like it is and how we need to live. But listen to it in out of the Message:
"1GOD, who gets invited to dinner at your place?
How do we get on your guest list?

2"Walk straight,
act right,
tell the truth.

3"Don't hurt your friend,
don't blame your neighbor;
4despise the despicable.
"Keep your word even when it costs you,
5make an honest living,
never take a bribe.
"You'll never get
blacklisted
if you live like this."

Love this, too! Gives it a totally new twist, doesn't it? I like this. It is times like this that I wish I knew Hebrew and could read the original. If you want to try your hand at that, check this out: Blue Letter Bible.

2006-01-18T06:05:00.000-06:00

Here's a link to an awesome challenge!

His Love Endures Forever!!!

2006-01-10T07:10:00.000-06:00

Psalm 136
1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders, His love endures forever.
5 who by his understanding made the heavens, His love endures forever.
6 who spread out the earth upon the waters, His love endures forever.
7 who made the great lights— His love endures forever.
8 the sun to govern the day, His love endures forever.
9 the moon and stars to govern the night; His love endures forever.
10 to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt His love endures forever.
11 and brought Israel out from among them His love endures forever.
12 with a mighty hand and outstretched arm; His love endures forever.
13 to him who divided the Red Sea asunder His love endures forever.
14 and brought Israel through the midst of it, His love endures forever.
15 but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea; His love endures forever.
16 to him who led his people through the desert, His love endures forever.
17 who struck down great kings, His love endures forever.
18 and killed mighty kings— His love endures forever.
19 Sihon king of the Amorites His love endures forever.
20 and Og king of Bashan— His love endures forever.
21 and gave their land as an inheritance, His love endures forever.
22 an inheritance to his servant Israel; His love endures forever.
23 to the One who remembered us in our low estate His love endures forever.
24 and freed us from our enemies, His love endures forever.
25 and who gives food to every creature. His love endures forever.
26 Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever.

No matter what happens - His love endures forever!!!
He will keep providing good things - His love endures forever.
He will always protect us - His love endures forever.
He will continue to guide me - His love endures forever.
He IS my strength - His love endures forever!!!

What Gods says about...

2006-01-09T19:55:00.000-06:00

the dark side...witchcraft, psychics, etc.

19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Gal. 5:20

20The rest of mankind that were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk. 21Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts. Rev. 9:21

23The light of a lamp will never shine in you again. The voice of bridegroom and bride will never be heard in you again. Your merchants were the world's great men. By your magic spell all the nations were led astray. 24In her was found the blood of prophets and of the saints, and of all who have been killed on the earth." Rev 18:23

8But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death." Rev 21:8

15Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. Rev 22:15

18 "Do not allow a sorceress to live. Ex 22:18

6 " 'I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut him off from his people. Lev 20:6

9 When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. 10 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in [a] the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. 13 You must be blameless before the LORD your God. Deut 18:9-13

23 For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king." 1Sam 15:23

1 Manasseh was twelve years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem fifty-five years. 2 He did evil in the eyes of the LORD, following the detestable practices of the nations the LORD had driven out before the Israelites. 3 He rebuilt the high places his father Hezekiah had demolished; he also erected altars to the Baals and made Asherah poles. He bowed down to all the starry hosts and worshiped them. 4 He built altars in the temple of the LORD, of which the LORD had said, "My Name will remain in Jerusalem forever." 5 In both courts of the temple of the LORD, he built altars to all the starry hosts. 6 He sacrificed his sons in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom, practiced sorcery, divination and witchcraft, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did much evil in the eyes of the LORD, provoking him to anger. 2Chron 33:1-6

12 I will destroy your witchcraft and you will no longer cast spells. Micah 5:12

4 all because of the wanton lust of a harlot, alluring, the mistress of sorceries, who enslaved nations by her prostitution and peoples by her witchcraft. Nahum 3:4

17When this became known to the Jews and Greeks living in Ephesus, they were all seized with fear, and the name of the Lord Jesus was held in high honor. 18Many of those who believed now came and openly confessed their evil deeds. 19A number who had practiced sorcery brought their scrolls together and burned them publicly. When they calculated the value of the scrolls, the total came to fifty thousand drachmas. 20In this way the word of the Lord spread widely and grew in power. Acts 19:17-20

22 When Joram saw Jehu he asked, "Have you come in peace, Jehu?" "How can there be peace," Jehu replied, "as long as all the idolatry and witchcraft of your mother Jezebel abound?"
2Kings 9:22

17 They sacrificed their sons and daughters in [a] the fire. They practiced divination and sorcery and sold themselves to do evil in the eyes of the LORD, provoking him to anger. 2Kings 17:17

6 He sacrificed his own son in the fire, practiced sorcery and divination, and consulted mediums and spiritists. He did much evil in the eyes of the LORD, provoking him to anger. 2Kings 21:6

Spiritual Attire

2005-12-07T07:23:00.000-06:00

I just read an interesting article this morning titled, "Is God Pleased with Your Spiritual Attire?" The article begins by telling a story of an elementary teacher who notices a note on the back of one of her pupils saying "I hope you don't think I picked this outfit." It made me laugh because I can really relate. There are often times that I cringe at my children's appearance and have to weigh my personal pride against their self-esteem in determining whether or not force an outfit change. This scrapbook page is an example of one of many of these occasions.

The article goes on to ask how many times does God feel this same way about us. Not about our actual clothing, but our spiritual clothing.

"When we put on our own selfish desires and dress in our own attitudes, we aren't leaving others with a good impression of God. They look at us and say, "If that's Christianity, then I want no part of it."

I will be reminded of this every time I cringe in embarrassment over something one of my children says or does, or how they look. This is a good reminder as my own life should paint a positive picture of God in all areas.

2005-11-23T06:41:00.000-06:00

2 Peter 1:5-11 (The Message)
5 So don't lose a minute in building on what you've been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, 6 alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, 7 warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. 8 With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. 9 Without these qualities you can't see what's right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books. 10 So, friends, confirm God's invitation to you, his choice of you. Don't put it off; do it now. Do this, and you'll have your life on a firm footing, 11 the streets paved and the way wide open into the eternal kingdom of our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ.

This is another great passage of scripture that I read this morning. I highlighted the words above because they have a particular meaning to me today. To explain, I have to tell you that our family has just recently moved into a beautiful new home that we built on our existing property. Formerly, we had been living in an 85 year old farmhouse that was also on this property. County regulations would not permit us to keep both homes on the property, so we were required to demolish the old home almost immediately after moving into the new. This has been quite difficult for me to handle. The old house was our family's home for 7 years. I believe God is using this process to teach me something. Even early in the conception of our new home we began calling it God's house. It is only through Him that its building has been possible. There is a stark contrast between this new lovely home and our old farmhouse. The old one had received lttle TLC through the years and the ravages of time were obvious. Add to this the fact that we had quite outgrown the place and you have decreped, cluttered chaos. We often said that we felt like we were living in scallor. I was even embarrassed to invite anyone into my home. The new home, in contrast, is spacious and we are taking much care not to bring anything junky into it and not to clutter it up in any way. I am proud to welcome others into it.

God has shown me that this contrast is like our lives. There is the scallor that we live in before we turn to God, and there is the peace and beauty of our new lives in Christ. A key element of our new lives in Christ is that we completely turn away from our old life. We cannot hang onto it.

Yesterday, as I walked through our old home for the very last time before it was demolished, I cried. Part of me wanted desparately to hang onto it. That home in a way had become a part of me because of the memories with my family created there. I knew in my mind that tearing it down was the right thing to do. I knew that I had no use for that old house anymore and it was merely an eyesore and a blemish on our property, but a part of my heart did NOT want to give it up. Isn't it the same with our lives? Living for Christ brings about change in our lives. We step forward into new behaviours as He teaches us. We cannot form new habits, though, if we continue to live in our old ways.

Matthew 9:16-17 says,
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."

Psalm 139

2005-11-23T06:36:00.000-06:00

This morning, part of my daily reading included Psalm 139. What a beautiful passage! I read it this morning in The Message. I have read/heard this before but in a different version and I really enjoyed reading this with fresh words:

1 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. 2 I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. 3 You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. 4 You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. 5 I look behind me and you're there, then up ahead and you're there, too - your reassuring presence, coming and going. 6 This is too much, too wonderful - I can't take it all in!
7 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? 8 If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! 9 If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, 10 You'd find me in a minute - you're already there waiting! 11 Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" 12 It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. 13 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. 14 I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation! 15 You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 16 Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.
17 Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them! 18 I couldn't even begin to count them - any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you! 19 And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers - out of here! - 20 all the men and women who belittle you, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations. 21 See how I hate those who hate you, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance; 22 I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies! 23 Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I'm about; 24 See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong - then guide me on the road to eternal life.

This psalm is a wonderful prayer to begin each day!

Passionate Devotion

2005-11-14T06:56:00.000-06:00

This morning I read through the 23rd and 24th chapters of the book of Jeremiah. These verses are full of God's passion both good for His chosen people and bad for those who have led them astray. God shows Jeremiah two bowls of figs. In one, the figs are perfect, ripe and ready to eat. The other is a bowl of rotten, disgusting figs. Rotten ones are those evil shepherds who have led God's chosen astray and He has no kind words for them, but the beautiful ones represent God's people. Here is what He says of them,

" 6 My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back
to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and
not uproot them. 7 I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart."

God really wants the very best for His children - His chosen. All He wants in return is their hearts. He even says that He "will give them a heart to know Me." How awesome!

This is a beautiful reminder to me today that God wants to be my FIRST love and devotion. He wants MY heart! Then He will gladly care for me and will "build me up and not tear me down." What a peace and comfort that is!

Psalm 127

2005-11-11T07:34:00.000-06:00

I began this blog mostly as a tool for myself. I am finding that the exercise of studying scripture, waiting on the Lord and learning from it important for my spiritual growth. The act of trying to put into words what I am learning is a good tool for myself. It helps me to internalize what I am learning. If someone else happens upon this and finds something in this meaningful, that is wonderful. My fear is that someone will stumble upon this blog and find it meaningless dribble. ;)

Anyway, this morning, part of my "Bible in a Year" reading was Psalm 127:

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.
2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.
3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.
5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

This chapter spoke to me in so many different areas.

First, verse 1, "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." Of course, this has special meaning since we are in the process of building a new home. We HAVE really tried to commit this whole process as well as the physical home itself to the Lord. We have prayed about our decisions every step of the way. It is "God's House." Perhaps we need to post this prominently in our home along with Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

The second part of this verse says, "Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." This is a great reminder that no matter what we do or how hard we work, ultimately, the Lord is our watchman and our protector. Unless we look to Him for support first, our efforts are futile.

"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves. " It is good to remember that God doesn't expect us to drive ourselved into the ground with work. Of course, He doesn't want us to be lazy either. But what a comfort to know He WANTS to give us rest.

I had to set this aside to attend to my family and never got back to it. I don't know if I will get a chance to finish it so I will publish it as is.

Titus 2

2005-11-10T06:23:00.000-06:00

Every morning I try to read the "Bible in a Year" at www.crosswalk.com. It gives you a little Old testament, New testament and a bit of a Psalm or Proverb. If you are consistent and do this for a complete year, you will have read the entire bible. I sheepishly have to say that I have used this site for a couple of years and still have yet to complete half the days (it keeps track of what calendar days you have read) It tells me "According to your progress chart you have completed 103 days of reading." I tend to use this until something in particular comes up that I want to study each morning.

Anyway, this morning's reading included chapter 2 of the book of Titus. If you are not familiar with it, it is instructions to Titus on how to lead and direct the church where he was(which I think was Crete). Let me quote a few verses:

"Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. 4 By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, 5 be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior." (Titus 2:3-5 The Message)

I have heard this verse quoted many times. There are Titus 2 women's groups that promote the art of godly womanhood, motherhood and the art of homemaking. Today, I was struck with something new as I read this. I have always considered myself one of the "younger" women who should look to the example of the "older" women, but the thought hit me today that *I* could be considered one of the "older" women. I still have MUCH to learn from those more experienced than I, but with 17 years of marriage, 11 (almost 12) years of parenting under under my belt, and raising and homeschooling 4 children, I have some wisdom of experience that could be an example to those new to marriage and motherhood. *I* could actually be a person that someone looks to for wisdom in the areas of homemaking and being a godly wife and mother. How scary is that!?! So often I feel like my actions at home are not really of consequence. I am talking about the day to day drudge work. You know, the cleaning, laundry, cooking.... But what if they are not? What if everything that I do is being watched and observed? Would anyone be "looking down on God's Message" because of my behavior?

This passage today really reminds me that my job as keeper of the home really matters. It IS seen by others. Perhaps the best way to handle this is to be honest about my struggles and how the Lord has and is helping me to overcome them. In all honestly, keeping a home clean and organized does NOT come naturally for me. I LOVE a clean and organized home, but I struggle with the process and discipline of keeping it that way. Over the years I have improved immensely, but we keeping adding more children and activities and stuff to our household so even though I am more efficient with my homemaking skills the net results in our house have remained pretty much the same. Things are not as clean and organized as they should be.

Within a week, we will be moving to a new beautiful home. It is twice the size of our current one and laid out exactly the way we wanted it. This has come about only because God's hand was in it. We have been calling it "God's House." I really think he wants us to live in it in such a way as to paint a picture of God through our home life. I know that sounds odd, but I really am getting this from Him. We cannot do his in a home full of dirt and chaos. While I do not want to become overly focused on cleaning, I do want to become more efficient and organized in this area and teach this to my children. They have not seen the best examples of this so far in their lives. Since I know that I fail miserably in this area, I am looking to the Lord for wisdom and guidance. "Direct my footsteps according to Your Word; let no sin rule over me." (Psalm 119:133)

So while I am still looking to those with more experience for their example, I am striving to be that godly example myself - to love my husband and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house and be a good wife.

In His Image

2005-11-07T07:33:00.000-06:00

During my quiet time this morning, I was browsing through the articles at www.crosswalk.com and found one titled, "The Power of a Good Example." One part of it really struck me,

"Some people may never open the Bible and read John 3:16. They may never look to see what the Scriptures say to them. But they will watch you. They will take note of the way you live, the way you treat your family, the way you do your job, and the way you function as a follower of Jesus Christ. And they will make their evaluation about God accordingly."

So, the question immediately to myself was what kind of example am I setting? Lately, I have been feeling like I am just trying to get through my days working to get stuff accomplished. When I am stressed and extra busy, I tend to let my sinful nature come forth. You know the one - the selfish, impatient, easily angered one. The one that will speak harshly to her children - the ugly one. Lately I have been stressed and busy and she has made her appearance far too often.

So, this quote above really hit me hard. If someone were to peek through my windows into my life, what would they see? Would I paint a picture of a godly life? I am afraid not. First, they would see chaos. I am not a disciplined, organized person by nature and with packing and sorting for moving, my house appears that it has had an explosion of stuff inside. There are piles and boxes everywhere! 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, "For God is NOT a God of disorder, but of PEACE and ORDER." If you peeked through my window right now, "peace" and "order" would definitely NOT be the first words to come to mind! I really intend to be better in this area in the new house. It is bigger and I should have places for everything, but I do realize that my habits still need to be adjusted.

Next, what would you notice about my interaction with my family, especially my children? One thing I have learned about myself is that I have a hermit personality. I require a certain amount of quiet awake time to myself or I find I get sorta irritable. I do come by this naturally as I believe that I have descended from a long line of hermits. This in itself is not bad, but when I have much to do and am feeling stressed, I do not work well with others, especially my children. I just want them all to be somewhere that I am not. Having 4 young children, this really isn't realistic! I am impatient with them and catch myself using the electronic babysitter (i.e. TV) instead of engaging them in conversation and directing them to something productive. (sigh)

So, here I sit, contemplating my short comings, wondering what to do about them. I have come to the conclusion that I do not have the strength or the discipline to be that beautiful example of Christ that I want to be. But, I do know that God does have that strength and discipline. The key is turning to Him CONSTANTLY throughout my day and leaning on Him. He alone can make my life paint a beautiful picture of Him. I rest in the peace of that and commit to allowing Him to use me each and every moment of the day!!!

Aaaaaahhhhhhhh!

2005-10-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

It is after 9 am and I have been trying to carve out 15 minutes of quiet time since before 7 am. Why? Why oh why must there be constant interuptions in my home?!? All I want to do is have a few minutes to read God's word, pray and think through our day. Instead I am badgered by 4 year old boy, my daughters fighting, my husband needing things from me, the phone ringing, children needing things and much much more. Everyone in this house knows how important having this quiet time is to my countenance, but yet here I sit in sheer frustration! I don't want to feel this way. I hate feeling this way. I could be the poster child for the "Calgon - take me away!" commercials. I know that Calgon is not the answer. Time with my Lord is. Teach me, o Lord, how to seek you and find you amidst the chaos. Teach me to find a quiet place amidst the noise and activity. I know that all things are possible with you, dear Lord.