Submission vs. Obedience

Wives are called to submit to their own husbands.  This is commanded in Scripture.  (Ephesians 5:22, Ephesians 5:24, Colossians 3:18) I think it is hard for a modern day woman to know what that really means.  We have been raised in an age of feminism and the idea of submission is foreign.  We relate it to obedience.  Yes, it does look like obedience, but there is more to it.  There is the component of attitude.

God does not call us to robotically obey our husbands.  We are partners and helpers to them.  They can bounce ideas off of us and we discuss things.  The wife's opinion is just as important.  But ultimately, someone has to be in charge and make a decision.  God has set it up that way.  Jesus is the head over a man, and the man is head over his wife.  This provides a sense of order.  We, as wives, are called to defer to our husbands and submit to his God-given authority.  Not only are we to obey, but we need to do it with a good attitude.  Our husbands need to feel like we are on their team and not have to fight us at every turn.

So, today I will do an attitude check.  Am I cheerfully submitting to my husband?  When I do, I am ultimately submitting to my Lord.

What to study along with me?  Click the button on the right that say's, "A Wife's Biblical Submission."  I am working on week three.  God bless! 

"The people who know their God, stand firm and take action."  Daniel 11:32

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:24

18 Ways a Wife May be the Glory of Her Husband

(From "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace)

1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?"
2. Ask your husband, "How can I help you accomplish those goals?"
3. Ask your husband, "Is there anything that I can do differently that would make it easier for you?"
4. Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. As you fulfill your God-given responsibilities, your husband is then free to do his work.
5. Save some of your energy everyday for him.
6. Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, job, ladies' Bible studies, etc.
7. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
8. Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
9. Do whatever you can to make him look good, to accomplish his goals. Some examples are to offer to run errands for him, organize your day to be available to him with his projects, pray for him and make good suggestions. Give him the freedom not to use your suggestion, and do not be offended if he does not follow it.
10. Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.
11. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals. Examples are get up early in the morning to help him get off to work having had a good breakfast, take care in recording telephone messages for him, anticipate any needs he may have in order to attain a specific goal, and keep careful record of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Consider the things that you are involved in. How do they glorify your husband? Ask his guidance.
13. Be warm and gracious to his family and friends. Make your commitment to him obvious to them.
14. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
15. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to you husband.
16. When your husband sins, reprove him privately and gently, always giving him hope and pointing him to the Lord.
17. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry.
18. Realize that just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, you husband is glorified when you obey your husband.
    

Modern Day Rib

I am continuing my study of what God says about being a wife to my husband. I have finished the book, "Creative Counterpart" and have begun to read "An Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Both books discuss what it means to be a biblically submissive wife, but are very different styles.

This morning, I took a break from the book and decided to read the the website I mentioned before, "A Wife's Biblical Submission." The link for this online study can be found in the sidebar to the right. I am reading from Week 2 of the study which discusses how the woman was taken from the man's rib. If you think about the purpose of a physical rib, it is protection. A rib is a delicate thing, but yet strong. It protects both the heart and the lungs.

It is interesting that God chose this rib to create woman. In general we tend to think about men as the protectors of women, but a wife plays an important role in protecting her husband. She protects his heart, by always loving and supporting him. Even if a man faces negativity all day long, he can deal with it if he comes home to a loving wife that supports him and respects him no matter what. If the reverse is true, no matter how much respect and kudos the world gives a man, he will be beaten down and weakened if he gets no respect at home from his wife. A rib also protects the lungs. The lungs take in air from the atmosphere. We, as wives, need to protect that atmosphere. How do we do that? Most importantly, we need to blanket his atmosphere with prayer. Next, we can make his home a place of peace and restoration. We can also choose to bless him with our words. We need to do this intentionally.

This role as protector is a totally new concept to me. I will have to remind myself of this role until it becomes habit, as well as pray for God to reveal where my husband has needs in this area and how I can respond.

Do you want to join me in studying about our roles as godly wives? I would enjoy discussing this with you. You can follow the link to the left or pick up one of the books that I mentioned. Leave me a comment and link to your blog. I would enjoy seeing how God is leading you.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:4


"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

On Being a Creative Counterpart to my Husband

No matter what you call it, help meet, creative counterpart, submissive wife, it is clear from scripture that is what God has called us, as wives, to be. The struggle in this day and age of feminism is to know what that looks like. Good examples are few.

In general, most women find the idea of putting their husband's needs above their own and serving him rather repugnant. We have been taught from an early age that submitting to any man is an archaic idea from the unenlightened past.

However, scripture clearly says that the woman was created for the man.

"For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

Man and woman were not created simultaneously. No, woman was created after man to be a helper to him.

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.'” Genesis 2:18

I know that many women may find the idea of this rather offensive. I might, too, if it were not for the fact that I trust in god and believe in ther Truth of His Word.

So, if I believe that I was created by God to be a helper to my husband, what exactly does that mean? I know for a fact that my husband would be extremely irritated if I called him to consult on every little household decision or child behavioral issue. He would also hate to be married to a doormat. He has told me that it is a comfort to him that I am a strong, capable, independent woman.

So, I am searching the scriptures, being still, and listening to God to understand what being an ideal wife to my husband and fulfilling at least part of God's purpose for me looks like.

Striving to be a Submissive Wife

In my last post I mentioned that in my morning quiet time I was studying obedience. God has impressed upon me that serving God means obedience to God in all instances. I believe it is no coincidence that I got my hands on the book Created to be his Help Meet which discusses the concept of what it means to be a godly wife during this time. I had to read through the book relatively quickly to get through it all before it was due back at the library and felt as though I wasn't finished with this study. Well, I always say that our God is a God who provides. Yesterday I stumbled upon an online bible study called A Wife's Biblical Submission. This is an in depth study of Proverbs 31: 10-31. I have decided to participate in this and will be posting what God is teaching me through this study here on this blog.

For those of you who do not know me in real life and have just found this blog, here is a little bit about me:
My name is Trish. 22 years ago I married my high school sweetheart, Barry. We had our first date the day after my 15th birthday and there has never been another guy for me. We got married when I was 19 and he was 21. We have 6 children: four daughters ages 16, 13, 6, & 3 and two sons ages 8 & 17 months. We are a homeschooling family living on four acres in rural Indiana.

Our family leans to the creative side. I have a need to create. Some of my outlets for this are photography, digital scrapbooking, cooking, and sewing. My children, thus far, have followed suit. This is very evident in my oldest two daughters who are becoming amazing artists.

We also have a family business owning/managing two apartment buildings. This role is a constant challenge for me. It is definitely not my nature to be to be a landlord or a bookkeeper, but I am learning and growing and working on my attitude because I have come to realize that this is an area where I am truly a help meet to my husband.

I am hoping that through this study, I can learn more about my God-given role as a helper to my husband.

Obedience

This summer, I have been led to study "obedience" during my morning bible study and quiet time. God has shown me areas of my life where I am and have been disobedient to Him. This is a hard thing to look at. [sigh] But it is important that I see this. So, I have been seeking what God say in His Word about being obedient. There is plenty!

God has been showing me that it ALL is about obedience to Him. I have heard it said that as a Christian, our goal is to get to heaven and take as many as we can with us. That's not a bad goal, but I think it is somewhat incorrect. I think our goal should be complete obedience to God and His will. I do think that leading others to know Christ is a result of that obedience, but by having obedience to God being our first goal, it takes the pressure off of us to figure out how to make this happen. We just need to follow orders.

The first step in obedience to God is learning to listen. We cannot follow God's commands, if we do not clearly know what they are. So, how do we hear God? We can pray AND listen. We can read God's living Word. This is a powerful combination.

The second step is, of course, doing what God has said to us. I believe it is only through the power of God that we have the ability to obey. It is hard! Daily, we need to re-commit ourselves to God, offering our lives as living sacrifices.

I am not sure what I expected to discover exactly through the process of my study, but I have been a bit surprised by the areas of my life that God has brought to my attention. The first has been by weight/health. I am overweight. This didn't happen overnight, but has creeped up throughout our 22 years of marriage and bearing six children. But I am nearly double what I weighed in high school and at the beginning of my marriage. I have tried to drop the weight off by eating healthier, but have never been very successful and have just resigned myself to the fact that this is who I am at least during this busy season of my life. I don't have time to deal with dieting and exercise. God has convicted my that the fat that I carry around on my body is sin. It is the result of disobedient living. It is sin that I cannot even hide. It is there all around me. It weakens my testimony and my ability to serve God. So, I am committing myself to being obedient in what I put in my mouth and how I nourish my body. God has given me a plan. He has led me to steps/habits for weight loss and better living. I won't go into it now, but it means eating less quantity, cutting out the junk food and sugar, and increasing fruits and vegetables. Eventually, I know God is going to lead me to more activity and exercise, but we are taking one step at a time.

The other area that God is teaching me about obedience is in honoring my husband and being the helper that God created me to be for him. Many months ago, I put a book on hold at the library called "Created to be his Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. I had nearly forgotten about it because it had been so long ago. Well, it was finally my turn to check this book out at the library. I figured that since I had waited so long for this book, I would not be able to renew it when it comes due because others have it on hold, as well, so I decided to set aside my obedience study and jump onto this for the next few weeks. Little did I realize how this fits right in. God's timing is perfect. I do not believe that it is a coincidence that I got my hands on this book in the midst of my obedience study. So I am learning what it means to be my husband's helper according to God's Word. I didn't even realize how much work I need in this area.

I'll sign off with a verse from my study this morning:

3 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: 6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. 7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. 8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.
Psalm 37:3-8

Seeking Church

We are still struggling with finding a church to call home. I feel like I need to write about this for myself to clarify my thoughts about it. Our family has been attending a Missionary church in a nearby little town. We have all been really enjoying it. As hubby puts it, if I were to make a check list of everything I was looking for in a church, this place has it all. But...something doesn't feel quite right to either of us and we can't quite put a finger on what that is. I told him that I think that is because it is not where God wants us to stay. I feel like God is taking us on a journey. Perhaps finding a church home is more about the process than the final outcome. I believe that we can worship God anywhere and in many ways. This has been forcing me to really think about what I feel is important to me in a church home.
Here is what I have come up with at this time:

• God is present.
• The BIBLE is taught. Members are striving to know the bible and live it out in their lives.
• I am challenged by the teaching.
• My children are taught from the bible, reinforcing what I teach at home.
• My (older) children are challenged to grow spiritually.
• Each of us is able to form strong connections with fellow believers who can uphold each other.

These seem to be the most important things to me. On a secondary level, I would love to find a place with a good group of homeschoolers. I am weary of being the strange, lone, homeschooling family. I would love for my children to interact with other homeschooled children. I realize that I can join a homeschool support group to fill this need, but I would not like to add one more commitment to my schedule. I would rather my focus be on church life. Also, I would love to find a church where our family's creative talents could be used and fostered. Our's is a family of artists. I love the graphic/digital arts and photography, my oldest draws exceptionally well and is a great photographer, my second daughter also draws and is especially talented with tiny clay sculpture and claymation. The rest are still fairly young, but I already a see artistry beginning to bloom in them. Since it is my prayer that they learn how to use these God-given talents for Him, where better to nurture these skills outside the home than at church?

We are planning to visit a new church this Sunday. This is always a challenge with a large family to try and figure out where everyone needs to go. It is also a bit unsettling for us all. It takes us out of our comfort zone and that is not fun. I pray that it is not upsetting to our children. I realize how hard it is for them to show up as the outsider. It is not easy as an adult either.

Satan's meeting (read even if you're busy)

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church." "We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth." "We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their savior." "Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.""So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, but steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ." "This is what I want you to do", said the devil:"Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!"

"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.

"Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he answered.

"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."

"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."

"Keep them from spending time with their children."

"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"

"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."

"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive."

"To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblicalmusic constantly."

"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.""Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."

"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."

"Invade their driving moments with billboards."

"Flood their mail boxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs,sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products , services and false hopes."

"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives."

"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night." "Give them headaches too!"

"If they don't give theirhusbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."

"That willfragment their families quickly!"

"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."

"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death."

"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."

"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."

"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation."

"Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead."

"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"

"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."

"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus." "Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."

"It will work!"

"It will work!"

It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get more busy and more rushed, going here and there. Having little time for their God or their families. Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.I guess the question is, has the devil been successful at his scheme?

You be the judge!

Does "busy" mean:

B-eing

U-nder

S-atan's

Y-oke?

No one living in this present age can deny that there is a grain of truth to this little story. Busy-ness plagues most of us. Life is just very full. We live in an age where we are constantly bombarded with noise and information. It takes great effort to unplug from it all and give our minds a break. We have to consciously turn off all the noise and distractions and oftentimes remove ourselves to a quiet, solitary place. Even 2000 years ago, Jesus found that He needed to do this.

"Very early in the morning while it was still dark, Jesus got
up, left the house, went to a solitary place and He prayed" Mark
1:35

I try very hard to do this each day, but it take great effort and often something happens to mess this up. Either I oversleep or one of the children has needs early in the morning.

Jesus also talks about "pruning" in the bible.

1"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2He cuts
off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear
fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3You are already clean
because of the word I have spoken to you. 4Remain in me, and I will remain in
you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can
you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
5"I am the vine; you are the
branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart
from me you can do nothing. 6If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a
branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into
the fire and burned. 7If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask
whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8This is to my Father's glory, that
you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John
15:1-8

If a grapevine or a fruit tree is left unpruned it produces fruit on all of its branches, but because its energy, nutrients and resources are spread around to more areas, the fruit is smaller and not as good. If the vine or tree is pruned, the plant's energy is focused on fewer fruits and they are bigger and better. We, too, are like this. If we are busy with too many things, our energy is spread out too thin and we cannot devote enough to any one thing to do it well. If there is too much going on in our lives, it just becomes busy-ness and we begin to just go through the motions without doing anything with excellence.

So, the question is, what needs to be pruned away in my life? That is pretty tough. For myself, I could pretty easily prune away the television. The rest of my family would balk at this (especially my hubby) and we do spend a certain amount of family time together enjoying certain shows. For myself, I rarely just spend time sitting in front of the TV. I think I could even eliminate it more, though.

I also think I need to evaluate my personal hobbies, activities, and even school lessons for the kids. Even though most of these things have value and are "good" things, if there are too many, they put a strain on our lives. I think it is important to look to God to prioritize all of our activities. HE is the master gardener and knows which branches in us need pruning. Sometimes the pruning can be painful, but in the end it is worth it to produce good and godly fruit.

I am seeking God to prune me. Show me what things need to drop from my life and my time.

"I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. " Eph. 4:2-3 The Message

I want to RUN on the road God called me to travel. But there are many days I feel like I am doing it in "fits and starts" as the verse above mentions. I want to be steady and disciplined, but am not always. I suppose I get bogged down if I lose my focus on God. If my eyes are on Him, I can travel forth sure and steady. I do not need to go looking for what I should be doing, He will bring what He wants me to do before me as I travel this road. I need to remember this.

Preparation and the Armor of God

In my last post I discussed that being prepared has been on my mind of late. I made that nice little list of ways I felt it was important to be prepared, but later realized that there is something I forgot: Spiritual Preparation.

First of all, it is important to know where you will spend eternity. This life, as we know it on earth, is a short one. Beyond this life, I know that I will spend the rest of my time with my Creator, God. This is not because of anything I have done or how good I have been. It is only because of my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior. If there is anyone reading this who does not have this same security in this, please contact me I we can talk.

Secondly, beyond salvation, there is the preparation of knowing the Word of God and living it.

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you
may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the
breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted
with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In
addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish
all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the
sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:13-17

Paul talks about the armor of God in the book of Ephesians. Each piece is an important step of preparation. Verse 13, that I highlighted, stood out to me today. We need to know the gospel of peace and be prepared to give it feet. I think to do this, we need to know the Word of God backwards and forwards. The only way to know it like that is to be constantly reading it. This is very important preparation indeed.

Be Prepared

"Be Prepared."

That statement has been pressed in front of me today.

I was reading a blog by the sister of a woman who was in an airplane crash with her husband. She mentioned that her sister had just taken on the mantra "Be Prepared" the week before the accident. How fortunate because her house was in perfect order and well stocked making it so easy to care for the couple's four children. My mother is in a similar, although thankfully less severe, situation. She fell and broke her pelvis in two places. Since she will be off her feet for quite some time, she mentioned being thankful that the house was in order before it happened.



I can't help but turn my thoughts to my own home. [sigh] It's not so in order. It is messy, unorganized and even my own family members, and often even *I* can't find things. If something were to happen to me today, how difficult would it be for my family to function? I certainly hope, I don't feel burdened by this because something tragic is going to happen in my family, but it is making me think. I am not being a good steward of my stuff or my time when I am unorganized. For example, I spend way too much time digging through my big ol' pile of clean laundry to try and find a complete outfit for each of my kids each day. Of course it also takes time to sort, fold and hang all those clothes, too, but it is probably a better way to spend my time because there is way less frustration involved.



So, what does it mean to be prepared? I am thinking about this and here are a few ideas that I have come up with that I think are important for our family household:

1. Minimal clutter because clutter hides what's important.


2. Pantry stocked with items to make complete meals (still trying to decide how far ahead to stock for).


3. Clothing in order for all family members.


4. Medicine and first aid supplies stocked and organized.


5. Files organized enough that someone else can easily find things.


6. Emergency fund set aside.

I am sure I could come up with a much longer list, but I think these are the biggies. If these things were in place and in order, we would be better prepared if something happened to either Barry or me or if something happened to make us unable to get supplies.

Throwing Caution to the Wind

The Story About Investment
14-18"It's also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his
servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand
dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their
abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled
his master's investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single
thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master's money.
19-21"After a long absence, the master of those three servants came
back and settled up with them. The one given five thousand dollars showed him
how he had doubled his investment. His master commended him: 'Good work! You did
your job well. From now on be my partner.'
22-23"The servant with the
two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master's investment. His master
commended him: 'Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.'
24-25"The servant given one thousand said, 'Master, I know you have
high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no
allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good
hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last
cent.'
26-27"The master was furious. 'That's a terrible way to
live! It's criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I
was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have
done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would
have gotten a little interest.
28-30"'Take the thousand and give it to
the one who risked the most. And get rid of this "play-it-safe" who
won't go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.'
-Matthew 25: 14-30 The Message

I have read this parable many times. The version I usually read it in uses the term "talents" instead of money which makes its hidden meaning more evident. God gives different gifts to each of us. These are talents are skills that come naturally. He does not give them to us to keep hidden under a rock, but instead to use. Through use, we become more adept at our skills. We hone our talents. God expects us to do this and to use them to His benefit (not just for our own selfish gain).

So, this is not a new concept for me even though it is something I should be reminded of regularly. What is a new idea that came out of the The Message is that God does not want us playing it safe. He wants us to do hard things and take risks. I don't think this means just any risk. But if we are in God's will, don't we have the best safety net there is? There is no better security than that.

So, I need to consider what areas of my life that God wants me to "go out on a limb." Some of our family's lifestyle choices could be considered throwing caution to the wind. Putting the size of our family in God's hands and allowing each blessing of a child seems quite crazy and risky to many people. There are days I think I am nuts myself, but I know in my heart that it is the right choice. I cannot imagine life without any one of my six children and if God decides to bless us with another I will joyfully accept that gift. Homeschooling is another area that I feel like I am out on a limb sometimes. It is a challenge and there are many days I would love to just hand the responsibility of teaching and training my children over to someone else. But God directed us onto this path and I know that it is the right choice for us.

I am wondering, though, where God wants me to go out on a limb right now. Where am I holding back and not using all of my God given talents? What area of life do I need to stretch? Something to prayerfully consider.

Church Home?

Hubby and I are in a process right now seeking what is best for our family in a church home. This is hard! I don't enjoy church shopping. We have attended two different churches over the course of the past month along with our own. One is a rather large church with a K-12 school and a weekly broadcast television show on a local network. It was nice. The kids seems to get something out of it, and the message both weeks was very good. Hubby loves how well they do things technically because that is what he does for a living (designs audio, video and lighting for churches) and gets excited by the thought of being able to serve in these areas. Part of me struggles with the fact that everything is kinda "slick" because the service is a show. Don't get me wrong, I believe God is present and those involved truly do have the right heart, but something doesn't feel in my gut 100% right for me. Perhaps that is just the nudge of the Holy Spirit because this is not ultimately where God wants us to be.

The other church we attended is a good-sized missionary church in a nearby little town. We know a handful of people from our current church who have started attending there including my brother-in-law's family. So, it made logical sense that we should try it. It, too, was very nice. I enjoyed the service and the message. There were several points made that I had just been brought to my attention during my own personal bible study the past week. I love when God does that - reinforcing spiritual thought He has already given you. The children seems to really enjoy themselves. Of course, for a couple of them, it helped that they got to attend with their cousins, but even my teenage girls really seems to enjoy their class as well as the service. They were really impressed with how friendly and welcoming the other kids were - something that doesn't always happen with that age group. My younger ones all seems to get a lot out of their classes and service (they have their own children's service). I was amazed at how well my son was able to tell me all that he learned about, retelling their bible story back to me in great detail. At home, I try to get him to narrate a story back to me and I barely get anything out of him. I am so curious as to how the told their story to make it stick so well.

Although overall we really were all pretty pleased, neither Barry nor myself felt a definite feeling that we were "home." So, I am wondering if that is how it works. To be honest, I am not 100% sure what I am even looking for. As much as I don't want it to be so, I can't deny that I feel that God is nudging us out of our comfort zone to seek another church home. Although there are many things at our current church that I struggle with and feel impotent to change, a big important part of what I feel a church home is, I do have. That is the people and the fellowship. I love the people and there are so many that I am very close to. I believe that the church in its foundation is the fellowship with other believers.

So, I am thinking and praying about what I should be seeking in a church home. I really want a bible-based teaching church. I do not need Sunday morning feel-good, fluffy sermons. I want to study what God says in His Word, even if it is hard to swallow. I want fellowship with other believers fervently committed to Christ. I want my children to be inspired to seek God in their own lives. Ideally, I want a place where there are at least some homeschoolers (at our current church there is one other family). It would be nice for my children not to feel like complete outsiders. It would be nice to have some homeschooling support within the church even if it is just a group of moms that can gather to uplift each other. It would be nice to not have to feel like I have to defend my homeschooling position all the time.

So, the question still is, where are we supposed to be, God? Please guide us.

Spiritual Rhythms

"We cannot transform ourselves.
What we can do is create the conditions in which spiritual transformation can take place, by developing and maintaining a rhythm of spiritual practices that keep up open and available to God." -Ruth Haley Barten Sacred Rhythms

What is my motivation?

The last and final word is this: Fear God. Do what he tells you. And
that's it. Eventually God will bring everything that we do out into the open and
judge it according to its hidden intent, whether it's
good or evil. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 The Message (Emphasis mine)

These verses got me thinking about the "hidden intent" behind my actions. Why do I do the things that I do. I would be lying if I said I did everything out of pure motivations. Really - who does? We are all selfish by nature, me just as much or more than anyone else. So, I am thinking through my actions from yesterday. What was my motivation? Most of it was purely for myself. It wasn't because I was doing what God told me to do. Yesterday, I was struggling to hear God and find right direction. So, I spent a lot of the day rather aimlessly bouncing from one task to another more or less as a whim struck me. Even still, I got a fair amount of work done, but I think the day could have gone so much smoother with just a bit of planning. And there was so much of my day that was wasted on stupid stuff.

Today, I am going to seek more Godly organization and think about the hidden intent behind my actions.

Pray for it

Absolutely everything, ranging from small to large, as you make it a part of
your believing prayer, gets included as you lay hold of God." Matthew 21:22 The
Message

In other words, "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." (New International Version) I believe this, but sometimes have a hard time wrapping my brain around it. I mean "Wow!" That is quite a statement. I really like how the message puts this. Anything is possible as you lay hold of God. I take that to mean that you have to be striving to be in the center of God's will for your life. That being said, you will not be asking for crazy things that are outside of God's will. I have not been praying to win the lottery because I do not believe that is part of God's plan for me. (But if you want to dump a pile of money in my lap, God, I would be ok with that. [wink])

However, there ARE things that I do feel are part of God's plan for me and my family. Some of these things I don't even have a firm grasp on. They are glimpses of visions that God has given me. Sometimes I get frustrated because I cannot see the whole picture. As I read this verse this morning, the idea came to me that I need to intentionally include them in my believing prayers. I include what I know, believing it will happen, even if I have no idea how. God will make them happen and through this process of prayer through which I will come to a greater understanding of what my actions need to be.

Church Home

Over the course of the last 10 years, I have come to discover how important it is to have a church family. My husband and I both basically grew up in the church. For him it was from birth and for me since about the 5th grade. In fact, that is where we met - church. We consistently attended our little Methodist church until about college age. At that time, most of our peers went off to college and we, instead, got married and went to college locally. It is hard to get motivated to get up on a Sunday morning when the only people you know at church are a few of your parents' friends. So, we drifted away for a while. Once we had children, we felt the nudge to return to regular worship every Sunday.

Soon it was apparent to us that this particular church was not meeting our needs and not where we were supposed to be, but we continued to attend because it was our church home where we grew up, got married and baptized our children. We stayed for sentimental reasons. Finally, we got up our nerve (along with my in-laws) and went to another church. We were warmly welcomed, were impressed with all that was available for our children, liked the services, and stayed. (We are not church shoppers, obviously.)

We have now been attending this church for 10 years. Many people at church feel like my second family and I love that. We are actively involved. I can't say that it has always been totally peachy, though. Over time, things change. Pastors leave and new take their place and the overall climate can change. Several years ago the change was definitely geared toward the older generation and many of our peers left the church. We, too, at that time considered making a move. Ultimately, after much prayer and thought, we decided that we should stay and attempt to make our church a vital outreach of God.

Several years have passed. It is still a church of predominately older folks. A study done in our church a few years ago showed the median age to be 65. The Sunday class that hubby and I attend is the "young" adult Sunday School. We are in our 40s. That is not necessarily bad, but it seems that the overall mentality of the church is old. In many cases, modern ways of doing things are perceived as unnecessary and a waste of resources. Meanwhile, I watch my children, especially my older ones, going through the motions of church with disinterest.

To add insult to injury, my husband works for a company that works closely every day with large, vibrant, growing churches. He sees the amazing possibilities to reach others for Christ daily. He has tried to bring some of his knowledge of experience to our church in an attempt to improve that quality of how things are done in our church, but has felt very impotent. After several years of this, he has come to the conclusion that we attend a church for old people and change is not desired. Therefore, he needs to decide, does he want to attend a church for old people or not. He has decided "not".

As for me, I see many of the things that frustrate my husband and they concern me, too, especially when it comes to my children. I want them to want to come to church because they want to worship their God, not to see their friends or because we make them. I fear that when they are on their own, they will not have the desire to bother with church and that breaks my heart.

So, we have been discussing the option of finding another church home. Part of me cannot imagine doing that because it would be like divorcing myself from part of my family. It pains me to even consider it. When my husband said he felt that he really needed to search elsewhere for a church home, I instantly told him that I could not do that. He feels this so strongly that he will go somewhere else and just let us continue to attend our church. I feel like this is certainly not right to separate the family. I think we need to be united in our church home. So, I have been praying about this..a lot! After praying, I know in my heart that our family needs to begin the process of finding the right church home for us. We are searching. Ultimately, we may even decide that we should stay right where we are, but we won't know that for sure until we venture forth. I pray that God will speak to us and show us where we are supposed to be. I know that the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. That is where I am striving to be. I just pray for God's wisdom and guidance to get us there along with the strength to leave my comfort zone.

With God all thing are possible

The Message
Matthew 19 Read This Chapter
19:26
Jesus looked hard at them and said, "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it."

A good reminder!