Lack of Focus and Faith

14 At the bottom of the mountain, they were met by a crowd of waiting
people. As they approached, a man came out of the crowd and fell to his knees
begging, 15 "Master, have mercy on my son. He goes out of his mind and
suffers terribly, falling into seizures. Frequently he is pitched into the fire,
other times into the river. 16 I brought him to your disciples, but they
could do nothing for him." 17 Jesus said, "What
a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many
times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up
with this? Bring the boy here." 18 He ordered the afflicting demon out -
and it was out, gone. From that moment on the boy was well. 19 When the
disciples had Jesus off to themselves, they asked, "Why couldn't we throw it
out?" 20 "Because you're not yet taking God
seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of
faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would
move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to
tackle." Matthew 17: 14-20 (emphasis mine)

Each day as I do my morning bible reading, I look for a verse that stands out and speaks to me. This morning I was reading Matthew 17. I found it interesting how The Message translated verse 17. Jesus seems a bit frustrated and disgusted when a boy with a demon is brought to him after his disciples failed to cast it out. He says, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives!" Did earlier generations have a true sense of God? I'm sure Adam and Eve did and probably several generations after them. Perhaps, by the time of Noah, that sense of God was nearly gone (except for perhaps Noah and his family) and that is why He was so discouraged with man.

So what is Jesus saying here? We should have a sense of God and a focus in our lives. It seems pretty clear that God should be that focus. Perhaps, because He goes on to discuss faith, faith could be described as focus on God.

So, then I need to ask myself, "What am I focusing on each day?" Even if my intent may be to focus on God, I think I get too distracted with the acts of living and doing the work each day of being a wife and mother. The crazy thing is that this work is from God. So how do I have a sense of God in my day to day, moment by moment actions? So what is the trick to keeping Him in forefront of our thoughts as we cook a meal, wash a dish or hang some clothes? Perhaps I need regular reminders of Him. Those could be items in my view to reminds me to focus on God such as bible verses tacked up or a symbol placed where my eye falls during my work. Another thought is to create benchmarks in my day where I stop my activity to pray. We do this at mealtimes already, but I could also listen for the clock to chime and stop to say a short prayer and make sure my focus is on God in the midst of my activity. I am going to try these things. I believe that if I had that sense of God throughout my day, I would make better choices, have more patience and be at peace no matter what the circumstances. And that is my desire.

Jubilee

"Count off seven Sabbaths of years - seven times seven years: Seven
Sabbaths of years adds up to forty-nine years. 9 Then
sound loud blasts on the ram's horn on the tenth day of the seventh month, the
Day of Atonement. Sound the ram's horn all over the land. 10 Sanctify
the fiftieth year; make it a holy year. Proclaim freedom all over the land to
everyone who lives in it - a Jubilee for you: Each person will go back to his
family's property and reunite with his extended family. 11 The
fiftieth year is your Jubilee year: Don't sow; don't reap what volunteers itself
in the fields; don't harvest the untended vines 12 because
it's the Jubilee and a holy year for you. You're permitted to eat from whatever
volunteers itself in the fields. 13 "In
this year of Jubilee everyone returns home to his family property. 14 "If
you sell or buy property from one of your countrymen, don't cheat him. 15 Calculate
the purchase price on the basis of the number of years since the Jubilee. He is
obliged to set the sale price on the basis of the number of harvests remaining
until the next Jubilee. 16 The
more years left, the more money; you can raise the price. But the fewer years
left, the less money; decrease the price. What you are buying and selling in
fact is the number of crops you're going to harvest. 17 Don't
cheat each other. Fear your God. I am God, your God. 18 "Keep
my decrees and observe my laws and you will live secure in the land. 19 The
land will yield its fruit; you will have all you can eat and will live safe and
secure. 20 Do
I hear you ask, 'What are we going to eat in the seventh year if we don't plant
or harvest?' 21 I
assure you, I will send such a blessing in the sixth year that the land will
yield enough for three years. 22 While
you plant in the eighth year, you will eat from the old crop and continue until
the harvest of the ninth year comes in.

So, is the practice of keeping the Sabbath year and the Jubilee still go on anywhere? I am curious so I checked it out. According to this site, the Jubilee is no longer counted or celebrated. That seems kind of sad. Although the Jews do no cling to Christ for redemption, they also do not cling to the Law as set forth in the Torah.

Wife of Good Character

For the past few days, I have been reading my bible during my morning quiet time from The Message. It is a modern day paraphrase. Although I wouldn't want to do all my studying out of the version, it can add an interesting perspective to verses, especially ones you have already read and studied before.



Today I got to Proverbs 31 which includes the section about a "wife of noble character."
Because I feel that being a wife/mother/homemaker is one of the highest callings that God has set before me and that these verses are probably the only detailed description of one in the bible, I have studied them fairly often. It is interesting to read them in The Message:

A good woman is hard to find,
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
all her life long.

She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places

and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast
for her family and organizing her day.

She looks over a field and buys it,
then, with money she's put aside,
plants a garden.

First thing in the morning,
she dresses for work,
rolls up her sleeves,
eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.

She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need,
reaches out to help the poor.

She doesn't worry about her family when it snows;
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.

Her husband is greatly respected
when he deliberates with the city fathers.

She designs gowns and sells them,
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,

and she always says it kindly.

She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things,
but you've outclassed them all!"

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
The woman to be admired and praised
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
Festoon her life with praises!

Originally, I studied these verses in the NIV (New International Version). I like how The Message has made this text more relevant to today. Talk of "servant girls" and "placing my hand to the distaff" do not really apply to my life. However "organizing my day" and "likes to knit and sew" make more sense to me.

There are many nuggets of wisdom within these verses, but the one that gave my pause today was this:

"She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
and keeps
them all busy and productive."

As a mom, especially a homeschooling mom, this has special significance for me. My days are busy and with mothering and teaching many, I often struggle to keep tabs on everyone at all times making sure they are "busy and productive." Often I am content with "quiet and not causing trouble" even if that means watching a video or playing a computer game. Not to say that these activities are terrible and should never happen, but there are days I use them as a sort of babysitter so that I can get some things done without children underfoot.

I am going to consciously aware of what my children are doing throughout the day and make an effort to keep them busy and productive. We'll see how it goes with my sanity.

I am in charge of paying our household bills even though it is not a job I particularly enjoy. I also find myself very busy every day. Due to these two facts, I am bad about paying bills promptly. It is not a matter of not intending to pay the bills. They just get set on my desk and neglected. A while back, I was convicted that I needed to be better in this area and be an on-time and even and early bill payer. As a Christian witness, this is more honoring to God. I was very diligent in this area for quite some time, but life got over the top busy again, and I have a pile of bills sitting on my desk again. Everyday I tell myself that I have got to get to those, yet they still sit there. Then I read this verse this morning:

"'Do not hold back the wages of a hired man overnight. " Lev. 19:13

Hmmm...isn't that exactly what I have been doing? So, in front of God and anyone else reading this, I am committing once again to being a prompt bill payer. With God's help I can be the person He desires me to be.

Live with Intention

3-8"What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the
seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it
sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered
just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the
weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest
dreams.

18-19"Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news
of the kingdom and doesn't take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so
the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person's heart. This is
the seed the farmer scatters on the road.
20-21"The seed cast in the
gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But
there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some
difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.
22"The seed cast
in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and
illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what
was heard, and nothing comes of it.
23"The seed cast on good earth is
the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond
his wildest dreams." Matthew 13 (The Message)

During my morning quiet time today, I read the parable of the Sower. (See above in the Message version) I find that even though I am a Christian and believe in Christ with all of my heart, I am not always "good earth." I think that often my life is filled with "weeds." The weeds are the busy-ness of life. There are so many things to do to manage a household of eight. Add to that the homeschooling, managing the apartments, church commitments, etc. and my life is full of so many things to do. The difficult thing is to figure out what things on my daily to-do list are weeds and which are the plants that will produce a harvest "beyond my wildest dreams."

Last night, as I was going to sleep and thinking about all that I need to get done, a thought came strongly into my head and it feels like it is from God. I need to Live with Intention. What does that mean? There are more things to fill my day than I can possibly ever get done. Living with intention, is intentionally choosing those activities instead of just merely dealing with things as they come at me. It is planning ahead instead of dealing with emergencies as they happen. Now, there are day that are just filled with emergencies and catastrophes that need to be dealt with, but I believe that by planning ahead, we can get less sucked into those things that SEEM like emergencies at the time, but are really not in the eternal picture.

So, my plan of action:

• Make sure that I have daily quiet time with God to be able to discern what needs to be weeded out each day.
• Make short manageable to-do lists and follow them.

The woman I AM vs. the woman GOD CREATED me to be

I have been doing some soul searching lately. I don't know about you, but periodically I feel the need to question who I am and what I am doing. Perhaps that is because I have this niggling from God that I have gotten off track, or because life is not running smoothly and I want to be able to do things better.

My life is very FULL right now. I have many things that tug at my attention and my time (and I am not just refering to my five kids ;-). I have many duties as a wife, mother, full-time teacher to my children and manager of my home. Beyond this, I have many duties as an apartment manager. Then there are the other things that I am passionate about. These are the things in the creative realm like my digital design work and photography. All of these are both literally and figuratively pulling at me constantly.

I was saddened to realize that from a financial standpoint, the work I am passionate about (the creative stuff) has very little value and the work that I consider a pure burden (apartment management) can gain me the most income. Of course, raising my children actually costs me. And although there ARE those days I consider it a burden, for the most part it is my first calling and my joy right now.

This realization hit me as I did my taxes this year. It was SO SAD to see how little the creative stuff earns me. Part of me says I should just give it up entirely and not waste my time, but part of me just can't. I am driven to create. It is part of my inmost being and I believe this is a God-given desire and therefore, He has a reason and a purpose for it. But, I need to focus more of my energies on the apartments. [sigh] I have gone along too long just doing the barest minimums in that area. I am crying out to God like a little child throwing a tantrum, "But I don't WANT to do that!" I know God must be trying to grow me.

Hence the title of the blog, "The woman I AM vs. the woman GOD CREATED me to be." I am trying to get some clarity of vision as to who this other woman is. I think that if I could actually visualize her, I could make better choices to become her. Does that make sense? I am trying to not look at what I want for myself but what God desires for me and from me. It is about giving up a certain amount of selfishness. I certainly have some work to do in this area.

Hells Best Kept Secret

Momma's Guide to Quiet Times in Loud Households

Sounds like the perfect book for me!

Clarity

I chose clarity as my word of the year or at least for a season. (See this post). So, I am tying to do a in depth word study of it. I have discovered after searching many versions, that clarity is not a word found in the bible, but I did find it here:

Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
1 Corinthians 13:12 (NLT)

Exodus 24:10 and they saw the God of Israel. And there was under His feet as it were a paved work of sapphire stone, and it was like the very heavens in its clarity. (New King James)

Acts 22:11And when I saw not, for the clarity of that light, I was led by the hand of fellows, and I came to Damascus. (WYC) (Paul after Jesus came to him in a blinding light)

Revelation 21:11having the clarity of God; and the light of it like [to] a precious stone, as the stone jasper, [and] as crystal. (WYC)

Revelation 21:23And the city hath no need of the sun, neither [of] moon, that they shine in it; for the clarity of God shall lighten it; and the lamb is the lantern of it. (WYC)

CLARITY defined:
clar·i·ty /ˈklærɪti/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[klar-i-tee]
–noun
1.
clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding; freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.
2.
the state or quality of being clear or transparent to the eye; pellucidity: the clarity of pure water.

Honor Roadblocks

#1 Anger
Everyone needs to learn to be a peacemaker. Peacemakers seek to bring people together in agreement and look for solutions where everyone wins.

#2 Selfishness
Teach servanthood

#3 Foolishness
Acting before thinking

Conflict with brothers and sisters is a child's first class in relationships. You home is the classroom, you are the teacher, and honor is the curriculum. Each conflict situation is an opportunity for teaching children how to get along.

Honor-Based Parenting Skills

#1 Be firm without being harsh.
Talk less and show less emotion

#2 Express sorrow instead of anger.

#3 Use problem solving and decision making.
Involve children

#4 Enjoy children according to their needs and interests

#5 Envision a positive future for your children

Obedience does things well.
Honor does them beautifully.

6 Ways to teach honor to children

#1 Teach children to treat people as special.

#2 Teach children to do more than what's expected.

#3 Deal with a bad attitude.

#4 Create honor lessons in life.
Listen with both eyes.
Whoops and Ahhhh game - Whoops for dishonoring speech (i.e. arguing, boasting, whining, complaining, talking too much, being bossy)

#5 Model it.

#6 Appeal to conscience.

Honor

HONOR
Treating people as special,
doing more than what's expected,
and having a good attitude

OBEDIENCE
Doing what someone says,
right away,
without being reminded.

"If you want your children to fly straight, teach them obedience. If you want them to fly high, teach them honor."

from "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes..." by Scott Turansky

Desert Wanderers

That's what we are - desert wanderers. We are just like God's people who were rescued out of Egypt. If you are unfamiliar with this story, it can be found in the book of Exodus in the Old testament of the bible. God miraculously led his people out of the bondage of slavery in Egypt and was leading them to a place of rest - a land he had promised their forefathers that he would give them. But they were faithless. Hebrews 3:10 says, "Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways. God became angry with them and announced that none of these faithless ones would enter His rest. God was true to His word. They wandered the desert for 40 years until all of the original people rescued from Egypt were dead with the exception of Caleb and Joshua. These were the only two that remained faithful.

As I was reading Hebrews 3 and 4 this morning, I realized that our lives are very much like the nation of Israel wandering around in the desert. When we decided to believe that Christ is our Savior and put our faith and trust in Him alone, God rescued us from the bondage and slavery to sin just like God rescued the Israelites from bondage and slavery in Egypt. But just like the Israelites had to travel through the desert to reach the promised land and enter into God's rest, we too, need to remain in the world and travel through it before we enter into God's eternal rest. It is during this time that it is SO important that during this time we REMAIN faithful to God. As it says in Psalm 95:7-8, "for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care. Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah, as you did that day at Massah in the desert,"

For every house is builded by some man; but he that built all things is God. Hebrews 3:4 (KJV)

Righteous chews on wisdom like a dog on a bone,
rolls virtue around on his tongue.

Psalm 37:30 (The Message)

I love the word picture that the Message creates with this verse!

Online Bible Study Tools

I thought I would share some of what I use to do online bible study.

My favorite site for looking up verses and doing bible searches is:
Bible Gateway
They have a wonderful search function and MANY bible translation available.

Lately, for my daily bible reading, I have been using:
Crosswalk
because I like their "Bible in a Year" feature. It has the entire bible broken up into daily readings. Each day includes Old Testiment, New Testiment and either a Psalm or Proverb. If you register on the site and allow them to place a cookie on your computer, it wall keep track of your progress on a calendar which is nice. They also have several translations to choose from.

Both of he above sites have several study tools as well as commentary.

Another site I like to use when I am really digging into a particular verse is:
Blue Letter Bible
This site is strictly King James version, but I like that you can see the text in it's original Hebrew or Greek. Along with this, each Hebrew/Greek work is defined and every time that particular word is used throughout the bible is listed.

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my
act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I
try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching
my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my
heart to his eyes. Psalm 18:20-14 (The Message)

This really spoke to me today. I have been feeling a bit under the weather and there has been SO much going on. I feel like my life is full of SO many pieces that I can't keep them straight. I am craving the feeling of being "put back together." This is a reminder that I need to bring all these pieces to Him every day and "review the way he works." I need to keep my focus on Him and all the pieces will fall into place.