Church Home

Over the course of the last 10 years, I have come to discover how important it is to have a church family. My husband and I both basically grew up in the church. For him it was from birth and for me since about the 5th grade. In fact, that is where we met - church. We consistently attended our little Methodist church until about college age. At that time, most of our peers went off to college and we, instead, got married and went to college locally. It is hard to get motivated to get up on a Sunday morning when the only people you know at church are a few of your parents' friends. So, we drifted away for a while. Once we had children, we felt the nudge to return to regular worship every Sunday.

Soon it was apparent to us that this particular church was not meeting our needs and not where we were supposed to be, but we continued to attend because it was our church home where we grew up, got married and baptized our children. We stayed for sentimental reasons. Finally, we got up our nerve (along with my in-laws) and went to another church. We were warmly welcomed, were impressed with all that was available for our children, liked the services, and stayed. (We are not church shoppers, obviously.)

We have now been attending this church for 10 years. Many people at church feel like my second family and I love that. We are actively involved. I can't say that it has always been totally peachy, though. Over time, things change. Pastors leave and new take their place and the overall climate can change. Several years ago the change was definitely geared toward the older generation and many of our peers left the church. We, too, at that time considered making a move. Ultimately, after much prayer and thought, we decided that we should stay and attempt to make our church a vital outreach of God.

Several years have passed. It is still a church of predominately older folks. A study done in our church a few years ago showed the median age to be 65. The Sunday class that hubby and I attend is the "young" adult Sunday School. We are in our 40s. That is not necessarily bad, but it seems that the overall mentality of the church is old. In many cases, modern ways of doing things are perceived as unnecessary and a waste of resources. Meanwhile, I watch my children, especially my older ones, going through the motions of church with disinterest.

To add insult to injury, my husband works for a company that works closely every day with large, vibrant, growing churches. He sees the amazing possibilities to reach others for Christ daily. He has tried to bring some of his knowledge of experience to our church in an attempt to improve that quality of how things are done in our church, but has felt very impotent. After several years of this, he has come to the conclusion that we attend a church for old people and change is not desired. Therefore, he needs to decide, does he want to attend a church for old people or not. He has decided "not".

As for me, I see many of the things that frustrate my husband and they concern me, too, especially when it comes to my children. I want them to want to come to church because they want to worship their God, not to see their friends or because we make them. I fear that when they are on their own, they will not have the desire to bother with church and that breaks my heart.

So, we have been discussing the option of finding another church home. Part of me cannot imagine doing that because it would be like divorcing myself from part of my family. It pains me to even consider it. When my husband said he felt that he really needed to search elsewhere for a church home, I instantly told him that I could not do that. He feels this so strongly that he will go somewhere else and just let us continue to attend our church. I feel like this is certainly not right to separate the family. I think we need to be united in our church home. So, I have been praying about this..a lot! After praying, I know in my heart that our family needs to begin the process of finding the right church home for us. We are searching. Ultimately, we may even decide that we should stay right where we are, but we won't know that for sure until we venture forth. I pray that God will speak to us and show us where we are supposed to be. I know that the safest place to be is in the center of God's will. That is where I am striving to be. I just pray for God's wisdom and guidance to get us there along with the strength to leave my comfort zone.